Teen Poetry #7 |
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I can feel you, Here |
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EverRuss Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 66Indiana |
Walking out the door my words freeze in the air, I walk down the short driveway, too the car. My Nova, re done by my close brother. Inside its warm, comfort. Along I drive, devouring little yellow lines I make it to the highway, I start my journey Rolling wheels are bringing her so close. Its cold, too cold, but I love it. The trees are close, dense. I look over the mountain side, so high, yet so beautiful Turns so many, the road is twisty I've drove before, but the cold, the ice My heart cant wait to see her. My wheels arent going where Im stearing Im so close i can feel her heart beat. Oh Mountain side how close you seem Almost ther I can feel you breath Why is the mountain side so close? Yes, Im there, I can hear her voice Who are these people Where is she? Mountain side, you won't let me move These voices say not to move But Im slipping They tell me to say it And All I say is Her name " " If my poems could talk they would mean more than the words |
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© Copyright 2004 Russell J - All Rights Reserved | |||
ascending_ecstasy Member
since 2004-01-21
Posts 102 |
that was good, i liked it. the imagery is almost clear, your structure is pretty good, it doesn't need to be edited. well done, another of the best i've seen on this forum. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
The imagery was awesome in this. The only prblems I saw were a few spelling and typing errors. Other than that, it was really good. Jen Whoever said "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" obviously never loved. |
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