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Teen Poetry #7

HE TRIED TO KILL ME

Naked Truth
Junior Member

since 2003-12-28

Posts 11
Det, Mi.

0 posted 2003-12-31 02:43 AM

let me go you have me by my neck
agggaaahhh aaaaahhhhggggg
i cant breath
choking (cough, cough)
gasping for air
loosing all life in oxygen
feeling faint

but wait

i see i know

untangle myself
fighting (punch, kick, push)
bleeding
im set free
breathing hard
heart pounding

running, tripping, falling
so i wont get caught up again
taking a new road
rebuking you
praying

thats how i escaped the devil from killing me

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

1 posted 2003-12-31 08:13 PM

Wow, that's an intense situation....

sky

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2004-01-03 11:03 AM

hmmm...it was....interesting. i didnt like it that much. it didnt have that great of form and it was just kinda....meh. keep posting!
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

candyland201
New Member

since 2004-01-03

Posts 5

3 posted 2004-01-03 11:15 AM

THIS POEM WAS VERY DECRIPTIVE AND IT SEEMS AS IF IT IS FROM THE HEART. I REALLY APPRECIATE WHEN POETS WRITE FROM THE HEART. FROM YOUR BEST FRIEND CANDY

Ixxi
Member

since 2004-01-02

Posts 77
England

4 posted 2004-01-03 12:27 PM

Pretty graphic... I like the way it creates a scary atmosphere

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