»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #7
»
secret life
| Teen Poetry #7 |
|
secret life |
|
|
Naked Truth Junior Member
since 2003-12-28
Posts 11Det, Mi. |
Note: first poem on here! how do i say it how can i show you secrets kept in my sheets what will i say what will i show you secrets in the dark this is not how things go but this is how im doing them why cant i tell you you probably know or expect it so why not confirm it this is what im doin this is how im livin secretly not ashamed to tell you just afraid why cant i talk, secrets have my tongue a secret is no longer a secret if it is told |
||
| © Copyright 2003 ~Kay - All Rights Reserved | |||
*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
well Welcome to passions! We're always glad to see a new poet around here and I hope you have a warm and welcome stay with us. Well written first post I enjoyed it. My one critique would be to try keeping in a constant rythm(not rhyme mind you) because if there is a set rythm throughout it is easier for the reader. Overall well done. ~Live and Laugh~ Because of you I laugh a little harder, smile a little more, and cry a little less |
||
|
candyland201 New Member
since 2004-01-03
Posts 5 |
FOR YOUR FIRST POEM IT WAS VERY EYE CATCHING. SECRETS ARE HARD TO KEEP BECAUSE SOMETIMES THEY BURN INSIDE. WELL I ENJOYED THIS PIECE KEEP ON EXPRESSING. |
||
|
muchos Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 102 |
i agree with both comments. keep it up and i look forward to hearing more work. have a great time with pip. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
