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young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2003-10-01 01:26 PM

one last breath

mechanical breathing keeps old souls living
they are lost inside themselves
not responding to any outside thier stmuli
not regarding anything outside thier minds.
the raspy exhalations slowly lower
a chest that houses an again heart.
are they ready for an end?
and end of days and nights unrecognized.
a shadow now patrols these halls
covering the fluerescent lights with misty grays.
this figure has a hideous form to some,
but to others it appears to be a saviour.
it slips in and out of rooms quickly for
its task takes only a moment to complete.
if only this master of death would have
vacated my room long ago,
but it has made itself comfortable, watching my life drip away
like the constant drizzle out my death ward window.
ive been slipping under the influence of
the morbid drugs that im prescribed.
these words you speak to me now are so cunning,
is your deathly friend promping you?
he whispers as you scream
he strangles me while your eyes gleam.
my time is fianlly coming,
after all these years its my turn.
i take one last breath......
and im released

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

1 posted 2003-10-01 02:15 PM

this poem was wonderful, the description was incredible, the picture that was painted in my mind was so vivid. the feeling that this piece gave was strong thought the whole. keep righting

drugs are not just a was to keep things from getting out of control but a way to help the person fix what is uncontrollable, please don't give up for this reason hope is somewhere (that’s just my two cents)

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2003-10-01 06:33 PM

this isnt about

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

3 posted 2003-10-02 02:14 AM

Okay for a second here I picture Prozac, not because its a drug or anything but a represenation. Let me explain. It deludes your senses and even you know that it's not totally you. Your parents see a difference in what you become(the gleam in the eye), while you suffer from a false imprisonment. It finds its way into your room, cereal, and t.v. A little pill not a pill but an ideal of what everything is deluding us. A killer to some but a savior to others, what ever it may be. It's our own little Prozac pill. Nice write, I usally don't spout off like that, so kudos.

NJS

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

4 posted 2003-10-23 05:21 PM

hmmmmm, death growing comfortable....interesting.

LiL-Jew
Junior Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 30

5 posted 2003-11-12 06:25 PM

that is a awesome imagery of the process of death and what the things you use to harm yourself like drugs thats what it leads you to. then the question becomes, Why?

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

6 posted 2003-11-12 09:48 PM

thanks for commenting guys

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