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duncan idaho
Member

since 2003-11-14

Posts 70
dune

0 posted 2003-12-09 02:21 PM

my garden is lovely
my potatoes hang from
the sturdy potato tree,
sometimes swinging in the
wind. and I pull up some squash
and eat it raw.  it tastes sooo good.
butterflies jump from tree to tree as they
suck the nectar out of the three pine trees.
Sap sticks to my fingers as I dig up the cherries
I planted last fall. the dirt clings to my fingers
and I rub my hand in the soil until the dirt comes off.  it rains, and I hurry to pick some tulips. I
dash inside and stare out at my garden from the protection of my living room.  i take the flowers to my love and she beckons me to our room.  we make
passionate love, but all I can really dream about,

is the garden.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-12-09 06:19 PM

oooo
I like this.
"I rub my hand in the soil until the dirt comes off."

nice line here.
the whole theme is beautiful, and the end was my favorite.
butterflies jumping,
cute.
um..
I don't really like how you say passionate love
its overly used.

[This message has been edited by Lexy (12-09-2003 06:20 PM).]

duncan idaho
Member

since 2003-11-14

Posts 70
dune

2 posted 2003-12-09 07:14 PM

passionate love is overused. thats why i used it

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2003-12-09 07:41 PM

haha...i loved this one...it was nicely descriptive, but the irony made me laugh very hard. great job on this..haha

now im alone, but not lonely like before

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

4 posted 2003-12-10 01:18 AM

As much as I don't care for what I've seen of your charectar, I love this.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

5 posted 2004-01-04 10:20 PM

haha.. That was great. I love all your poems. Somehow they always crack me up. Even if i am in a bad mood, all i have to do is read one of your poems, and i crack up.
~kissa~

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

6 posted 2004-01-04 11:29 PM

GREAT POEM.LOVED THE END...

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