Teen Poetry #7 |
This is Beautiful. |
patience_iago Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54 |
With my arms sprawled out, I accept the thunder beneath my body and above the clouds. You are aside me and you are breathing. You see what I see, and I am confident that you feel what I am feeling. A soft melody repeats in my head and I smile as more thunder strikes. Wind graces our presence and opens our eyes to all that is gray. I see my mind split in two. I see the sky split in two. We are all that exists. Tonight the world is ending, and it will end beautifully "There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction" |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi patience_iago(cool name btw), Awesome first post! I loved this poem, the comparison to the weather was very good. The ending also was mind boggling for me, not what I was expecting but wonderfully written. BTW- WElcome to piptalk! I hope your enjoying the site as much as I know I have. I can't wait to read more of your stuff and I hope you will post something soon. Thanks for sharing this with us "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
WOW! that's all I can and that I agree with stargal.. great job.. this had such imagery.. ~heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Welcome to Pip! I must say I really enjoyed this and hope to read more of your work soon. ~Alli~ |
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mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Hey, Welcome to pip, great first write.... if you post more, i'll dance for you LMAO much love, Michelle *I love him oh yes I do, he's for me and not for you, and if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!* |
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patience_iago Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54 |
Thank you, everyone. "There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction" |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Wow.. this was amazing.. I loved this. I also liked how you compared it to the weather. The last line was my favorite.. ~heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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