Teen Poetry #7 |
![]() ![]() |
Untill Your Life Is Done |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! ![]() |
Stand in the shadows And let others rule your life You never make a move You never speak your mind I cant tell you how to live your life But I can offer a helping hand Can you see it in front of you I will help you stand I cant make you step out fron the shadows But i can see your lost and cold I know you've never had anyone care So you just get more stoned But is this the life you want Do you like what you've become Never knowing what your worth Untill your life is done |
||
© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
I really like this part, the last part: But is this the life you want Do you like what you've become Never knowing what your worth Untill your life is done It kindda remind me of my friend that turned to suicide. But he never got to live his life the way he wanted. He was alway7s trapped in himself. So I thank you for sharing and i hope to see more from you in the futrure. ~Two lefts don't make a right, But three do~ Relient K |
||
tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
"But is this the life you want Do you like what you've become Never knowing what your worth Untill your life is done" My favorite part. I loved your rhyming in this and the point you got a cross. The last stanza was def. my favorite :] keep it up myspace username-beautiful_tragidy |
||
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"I cant tell you how to live your life But I can offer a helping hand Can you see it in front of you I will help you stand" One of my favorite parts^^ For me this poem is really sad to read. I've known people like this, all over the world, it doesn't change. You have one person like this in SF or one person like this in China, it's a non-stop horror to see. Wow... I'm just chattering on, this is not what I meant to talk about. lol What I meant to say is I felt you did a wonderful job with this poem. I like how you kind on incorporate an "uplifting" side to your poems. You always have such good things to say in them... Thanks for sharing, I know my comment doesn't make much sense and I'm sorry for that... ![]() "I pray thee, O God, that I |
||
mgoodman1989 Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 93Iowa, USA |
Tempest, I find myself risking being just like everyone else. I LOVE the last stanza. The whole thing was really good, but the last stanza has a strong meaning to me. I guess, I can relate? Keep writing, I love your poetry. Much love, Michelle |
||
hunnie_girl![]() ![]()
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
wow i really liked this poem.... beautiful ![]() hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |