Teen Poetry #7 |
acceptance |
rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
to teach yourself and to learn to forgive lets the other have a chance to really live to push it away and to try and forget proves you are too scared, still yet Why? I will ask. remember the past to hold a grudge pointless, be done way past time to stop living in the past or else the present will go by all too fast time to accept the future of that I am very sure [This message has been edited by rhia_5779 (08-19-2006 12:04 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2006 rhia_5779 - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
I'm not sure if you are done here, but other than that I thought it flowed really good. I hope to see more from you. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
yep it was done |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi Rhia, Thought I'd ask you about a few things... "to teach yourself and to learn to forgive Lets the other have a chance to really live" Is this supposed to be "let (no S) the other (S) have a chance to really live? Because when I read it the way that it is it's a little confusing. "to push it away and to try and forget proves you are too scared, still yet" Could you explain what the "still yet" means? I'm not sure I understood that... I liked the general idea of the poem, to let grudges go and not be selfish. I think it's a marvelous lesson for all of us to learn. I thank you for the reminder that is what I need to be doing^^ Plus, I think you should add on. I think you could make this longer without being horrible, just a thought though... Thanks for sharing/listening "I pray thee, O God, that I may be beautiful within." –Socrates @-->--- |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
still yet, kinda like you havent learned how to not b scared i think. and yes it is sopposed to have an s |
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