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Teen Poetry #7
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On And On
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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On And On |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! 
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Im lost in thought Its been too long Ill just keep singing This same sad song It wont help Im too far gone Ill just keep living On and on |
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| © Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
well it was good despite its shortness. i think you should expand it though...like i mean build off of that and make it longer. just a thought |
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chelsea_sixx New Member
since 2006-08-15
Posts 1 |
hey bryan its chelsea i liked your poem it was like a short little thought. very clever. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
that was really good. short but very clear |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
thanks |
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Fuschia Junior Member
since 2006-06-19
Posts 35England |
I like this a lot. It flows very well. You could expand on it though and make it into a longer poem. It is a strong foundation for a poem with a lot of potential. xxFuschiaxx |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
it was short but well enjoyed......by me... thanks for sharing. Krysti* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
great poem! i really liked it. i dont think it was too short but thats just me well great job! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Bryan, I’m going to have to agree with the shortness thing but I’d also like to add that in keeping this poem short it carries a more powerful punch. For the reader has to take each and every word to a deeper level, has to analyze each one to make sure that he/she doesn’t miss something and in longer poems, I must admit for me, that is harder to do. So, in keeping this short you get a more in-depth mind set from your readers, at least I think you do? I don’t know… Great job with this one though! I liked its simplicity; it’s length; and the wording of this poem. Thanks for sharing!  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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