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Teen Poetry #7
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never again
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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never again |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533
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Do you even know what goes on at night? I bet you don't know how many tears I’ve cried Guilt and shame are all I feel I barely have the strength to kneel [and pray] What I’ve done will forever effect my life I will be the most untrustworthy wife My future husband will look down on me in shame He probably won't want to mention my name Why do you feel this way? You ask Well I’ll tell you, for you I’ll do that simple task I surrendered to the power of my brothers best friend Now i'm lost and this heart won't seem to mend My purity is gone and I feel so disgraced And of course *he* is gone, he left without a trace What do i do now that my wholeness is gone? Put me out with the trash thats on the front lawn God please forgive me for this horribly wicked sin Until after marraige I'll never do it again... [This message has been edited by bekahlekah45 (07-28-2006 11:44 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Rebekah - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248 |
Bekah...if this really happened, i am SOOOOO sorry, and I hope youve told an adult. If not, well then, this is wayyy good, i believed ya. I really liked the first two lines, i wasnt sure where it was going, but i really liked those first two lines anyways...well done. i dont think this makes much sense =D <3ker When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
very good. it made me think its true, i hope though that you didnt really have to go through that. but if its not true, amazing poem, i was blown away.. just the raw passion,sadness and emotions blew me away so much!!!!!!!!! |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
This is really good! I admit i wasn't sure what was going on until you said 'my brother's best friend', then it clicked. Good job, the desolation is there, tne hopelessness that makes it so good! I''m sorry if it happened to you! I hope it didn't, of course, and amazing job!! When I stopped trying to find the right guy, and concentrated on being the right girl, the right guy found me. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
thanks for all the comments...i'm not sure how to respond to them all : ) i appreciate that you took the time to read this! thanks again guys! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Wow! Bekah this is an extraordinary piece! One of your bests, I think. There is no way to choose a favorite part though, all of this was, IS, my favorite. From the first to the last everything just seemed to click. The flow was amazing, the wording, the emotions. I loved it all. I can’t believe that you are having writer’s block, from what I’ve seen in this poem alone, none of it seemed forced either, and it appears that you will never fail to write a great poem! I found this to be a very pleasurable read. I just hope that you will post more in the near future, thanks a bunch for sharing this one though @-->--- |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
thanks stargal! i really value your opinion! seriously! ahh it took me a few days to do this one because i'd come up with a little then wouldnt think or ANYTHING. it just came to me until finally i had an ending haha thanks soooo much for everyones comments! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well, I changed my mind, again! Bekah I think that this part is my favorite part in the whole poem. The power of the emotions behind it, the sadness, shame, all of it was and is amazing! "My future husband will look down on me in shame He probably won't want to mention my name Why do you feel this way? You ask Well I’ll tell you, for you I’ll do that simple task I surrendered to the power of my brothers best friend" Hurry up and write more so I can read more!  @-->--- |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
wow...this is a really great write, i think this is defiantly one of my favorites by you. this part of the poem: My purity is gone and I feel so disgraced And of course *he* is gone, he left without a trace What do i do now that my wholeness is gone? Put me out with the trash thats on the front lawn God please forgive me for this horribly wicked sin Until after marraige I'll never do it again... i know exactly how you feel...you put it into words so perfectly. bravo bekah. love, -missy |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
i forgot to tell you: this is going in my library! ~missy |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
thank you all for your comments...i don't know what to say..umm THANKS!!! all of you made my day. I didn't think y'all would like it so much. i was considering not posting it but i'm glad i did thanks everyone! : ) |
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