Teen Poetry #7 |
Painted Stars |
Foreverone8783 Junior Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 24Illinios |
With all these thoughts How could I sleep It's all building inside These secrets I keep There's tears in my eyes That refuse to fall I stare at the painted stars And think about it all Was it your intention To make me feel this way What you said hurt me I don't know what else to say I can't change who I am I can't change how I feel Am I just making it out To be a much bigger deal The things that people say I take to my heart That's one of my faults And it tears me apart I believe what people tell me Even when I know they're wrong I'd say my biggest fault Is not knowing how to be strong So watch what you say Whether joking or not Because I dont want to hurt I just want it to stop But don't worry about me I won't always be sad It's not what you did It's the life that I've had Just give me time TO get over it all I've tripped before I'm still learning to fall Staring at the painted stars That are so far from real My inner thoughts are coming out And this os just how I feel |
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© Copyright 2006 Ashley Goodwin - All Rights Reserved | |||
forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
WOW. i really like it. i especially like how this flows: "The things that people say I take to my heart That's one of my faults And it tears me apart" and all the other stanzas(?) had the exact same rhythym. its hard to get that right like you did. good job. ~L |
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Foreverone8783 Junior Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 24Illinios |
Thanks alot! It feels good to know that people like what I write. Im not a very share my feelings person, so it is all in poetry that I usually write, put in my book, and hide away. Thanks for you comments! *^*Ashley*^* |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
i defiantly agree with forever*wishing, that stanza flows PERFECTLY, so does: I believe what people tell me Even when I know they're wrong I'd say my biggest fault Is not knowing how to be strong wow, thats really good..I like how you can just put your feelings into poetry so easily..Its great.. ~missy |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
ditto to the 2 posts...I LOVE THIS!!!! its sooooooo good!! bravo! haha seriously though..um i love it! |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
i REALI LIKE THIS! IT'S REALLY GOOD AND IT'S FROM YOUR HEART.GOOB JOB AND KEEP WRITING! |
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Alone in the dark Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 105On the edge of an abyss |
"The things people say I take to my heart That's one of my faults and it tears me apart" Taking things to heart may be an invitation to pain, but it's not a fault. It shows you're a compassionate, loving person who feels emotions deeply. And that's a strength Ashley, not a fault ^*^Angel^*^ |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I LOVED ALL OF THIS.. GREAT JOB.. ~heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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