Teen Poetry #7 |
Cries Dance |
Belinda Member
since 2006-01-30
Posts 126UK |
A Tear Rolls Down Her Cheek, The Cries Dance Silently, The Truth She's Out To Seek, Slips Away Quietly. Do You Love Her At All? Are You Telling The Truth? Do You Really Hate Her? Careful With The Words You Use. If You Don't Mean it, Don't Say It At All. Althought It's Out Of Anger, It Hurts Her All The More. She's Nothing Like Worthless, Selfish She Is Not, Saying This Makes You Spiteful, But What You Say Means Alot. I Know What You're Problem Is, She's Stronger Than You, You Would Never Be Able To Take, All The Crap You've Put Her Through. Standing Infront Of The Mirror, She Criticises Herself, Shouting Names In Her Head, She Wants To Be Like Everyone Else. This Girl Is Beautiful, On The Inside And On The Out, Don't Let His Jealousy, Hold You Back And Down. |
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© Copyright 2006 Belinda Black - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I loved this.. it was a great poem.. I understood it. good job. I'm not sure why no one else has posted on this yet.. great write.. only one suggestion.. the capital letter at the beginning of every word is kinda distracting.. other than that.. perfect.. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Belinda, What a neat poem! Although, I’d have to agree with Heather on the sticky caps being distracting. The whole time I read this I was thinking about them… Sorry I’m not sure if I completely understand this poem. I’m having trouble discerning what is really going on and what is not. Would you care to enlighten me? I mean I’m not sure who you’re talking to, ugh! No, I’m not sure who is saying the spiteful things to her? A girl, a boy, friend, enemy, what?! I’m just confused… I did like the third stanza though, means a lot to me cause I can relate to it well… This was a very interesting read for me. The first stanza seems to draw you into the poem, makes you want to read more and more. Good job on this one! I can’t wait to see more @-->--- |
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Belinda Member
since 2006-01-30
Posts 126UK |
Hiya! Thanks for all the feedback I do read all and take it all on board so thank you! Well the poem is basically about a teenage girl who is constantly arguing with her mum/dad. I didn't put who it was about because it leaves you to decide .. could have been a little more clearer I think though . . I'll bare that in mind for next time. thanks ! Belinda x |
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