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Teen Poetry #7
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Fantasy of a little girl
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Fantasy of a little girl |
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Cherishable_Baybee Member
since 2006-01-04
Posts 57 |
Fantasy of a little girl By: Cherishable_Baybee Lying here all alone Watching you leave me again While you break my tiny heart How could you walk away? How could you not remember your long lost daughter? You don’t even know my birthday or my age What the hell I guess your actions tell all It just hit me, maybe The reason why you left mama and me Is because you’re a coward A coward that’s afraid of responsibility You see the pain and sadness on my face But you know I still love you As soon as you walk out that door I know your only walking away Because you’re scared but its okay I’m scared too Being sixteen without a father is pretty scary I just wish you would not act like the antagonist The rival, the enemy Its okay I don’t you see you as the villain of the story But I could be wrong I guess How do we know if people can really change? Or is it just a plain act Maybe your character suits your personality I just have many questions waiting to be answered I just want to know why you never called me not even once Or at least one picture to remind me of you Oh mama always told me Never trust a male But i’m lost without you So tell me what to do? You leave me and crush my heart But the torment of it all Is not the fact that you’re embarrassed of what you see or did to me? It’s the fact that I still love you So come home daddy And mama won’t cry any more. Daddy, oh daddy come home So you can wipe the tears from mama’s eyes And better days can finally be here for sure. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Wow... That is almost all i can say to describe what i felt when i first read this! The imagery in this whole thing, the sadness, the hurt, it all builds such an emotional rollercoaster of a poem... Very enjoyable to read, although, i hope you're not really going through this, cause it's sad enough in just a poem, but ... well, nvm... Great write on this poem, it's not one of the best flowing, but i think all the emotions make up for that. Keep up the good work  @-->--- |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
It just hit me, maybe The reason why you left mama and me Is because you’re a coward A coward that’s afraid of responsibility I loved that!!! your a talented poet and this is a great poem!! like stargal said, not the best flowing poem but the emotions are so strong and you wrote about them beautifully. AWESOME!! Keep it up ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
OMG! you made me cry, tears on my cheeks. Not really but that was a pretty sad poems you wrote. |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
"The rival, the enemy Its okay I don’t you see you as the villain of the story But I could be wrong I guess How do we know if people can really change?" What a ride this poem was! Definately agree that the expression of the pain and sadness just jumps right out of the poem and into the reader... absolutely excellent piece! Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free |
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Cherishable_Baybee Member
since 2006-01-04
Posts 57 |
Thanks guys your comments mean a lot to me believe it or not i am actually going through this rollercoster although its hard to think of this as a fantasy maybe fantasies can actually come true just like dreams do =D |
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