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Teen Poetry #7
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pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

0 posted 2006-05-09 05:59 PM




They talk behind her back
They dont know what they lack

"Nothing girl is her name"
"Oh boy, is she lame"

She cant get over the pain
She's being slain

She wants to cut
So you know what?

She starts to do it
Blood and tears every minute

No one cares
Everyone stares

She comes to school each day
She has nothing to say

The deep cuts speak
Tears leak

No where to run
No friends;no fun


The pain starts to burn
No one shows their concern

Let her die a painful death
Tortured till her last breath

Someone should have helped her out
Instead of standing by, hearing her shout

But now shes dead
All because of what they said


err i didnt like this :/

~nora<3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

© Copyright 2006 Nora - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-05-09 06:41 PM


Hey Nora,

I kind of liked it, it's rather gloomy, but it makes my morbid side smile, if a morbid side can smile?!?!

Interesting flow on this, I'm not sure i like this style of writing a whole lot, but i think you pulled it off pretty well in this poem.

Have you written other poems about cutting? For some reason i feel like i've read some by you like this one... maybe i'm wrong.

It's not my favorite subject I must admit, I have friends that have cut, and because of this, the subject is still rather painful. I suppose if no one writes about it though,no one will know the consequences of such actions...

Anyway, great job on this one, I found that it was very different than most poems, but, still, very interesting to me  


@-->---

pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx
2 posted 2006-05-09 09:18 PM


Yup, im pretty sure a morbid side can smile ;p  anyways, i've written another peom about cutting but thats about it.  i write a lot about death.  anyways, thx so much for replying!!!

~nora<3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

Sweetpali08
Junior Member
since 2006-05-07
Posts 40

3 posted 2006-05-09 11:26 PM


Hey..
I liked it.
I don't usually have anything to say about poems because it's your thoughts put down on paper and may mean the world to me but for another reader may seem soo little .It all depends on the experiences they been through or if they can relate..

But for this one: I liked it .
I think this poem would be a really good example of the world today ,it would teach a great lesson for people whom are blind from their own love covered within themselves.
Keeep it coming

"How are they the VICTIMS if they are the OCCUPIERS?!"
~Paradise now

pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx
4 posted 2006-05-11 05:25 PM


thx for replying!!!

~nora<3  

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

nubee
Junior Member
since 2006-05-15
Posts 10

5 posted 2006-05-15 02:20 AM


i don't think i can say any thing but,"good job". keep writing. every poem makes me smile =D (or if its morbid, which this is the only one that I have seen, teaches me a lesson.  

          -thnx ryan.

but hey.... i'm a nubee

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