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Teen Poetry #7
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autrocity
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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autrocity |
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sins_and_tragedies Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41england |
You shove, you scream, you hit, I cry I love, I pray, I beg, I die But not pyschically die,eternally I can't let you see Every tear, scratch, bruise, I look at in the mirror yet everyday I take you back, making sure my emotions aren't in gear For you to see the way I cry over your abuse I dry my blood that's running down my face like cranberry juice Concealing not only my face, but my emotions in my heart asking God to try and help you find a new start Yet with every hit, yell fight I don't want to leave too much fright. That one day you'll hunt me down Try to push me in water and make me drown So I guess until the day I die or the day I have the strenght to leave I will have to stay in this hell of autrocity is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality |
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| © Copyright 2006 Danielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
This is really good, but if you're getting hurt by somebody, tell somebody tht will take care of the problem. Don't live with it the rest of your life. Do Something. Cherrys_rule |
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sins_and_tragedies Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41england |
no i am not being bullied or abused but thanx anyway for your suppot  glad you like the poemsat x is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well… I must admit this isn’t one of my favorites by you, the reason being the subject of abuse, and that the person in this poem is willing to go through that. I know it’s fiction from what you said, but there are so many people out there going through this that it’s not really fiction at all, just another person, in another place… So, I think this poem is put together beautifully, and that it has nice rhythm, but I can’t really offer any comments on it that would be helpful to you, because of the subject. Wow… that sounds so arrogant, what I mean to say is that I disapprove a lot on physical abuse that I feel if I try to offer any good ideas on this poem, my ideas might be tainted by my disapproval… hope that makes sense to you. I still think it was put together very nicely though, if this was my poem there’s nothing major I would change. Waiting to see more writes from you @-->--- |
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Junebug Junior Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 40earth |
ok all your poems totally rock! like i swear you should publish a book! like i'm not even kidding! (sorry i say "like" alot) anywho this is another great poem to add to my favorites! |
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poise_and_rationality Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46my mind |
wow thanx for the replies i'm glad you like the poem parx |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
uhh... there's two of u? lol! i was gonna say welcome to pip to poise, guess i don't need to now? @-->--- |
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poise_and_rationality Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46my mind |
 thats probaly how you feel yea i got anew account long story... well thanx for the replieshouse of composure where is your posture? |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
SAT/PAR!!!! another great poem from you ok, i totally agree with junebug PUBLISH A BOOK!!! your poems rock!!! keep up the greatt work!! ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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poise_and_rationality Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46my mind |
if i did though would you buy it? i don't suppose it would reach where you live as im in the uk! lol Give me attention |
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