Thank you of all the pain - pipTalk Forums

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aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

0 posted 2006-05-01 12:01 PM

Tears are in my eyes
Every time I think of you
And that conversation
Between me and you

I thought I was over you
I even wrought a poem saying so
I thought we could just be friends
But these feelings will never end

I wish I could hate you
I wish I could move on
But this world hates me
More then it hates you

I wish we’ve never had met
But then poetry wouldn’t be my life
Why can I never win in this world?
Why do I always come up sort?

The world hates me and that’s
A fact that’s I’ve come to accept
Why ales would my life be so bad
I have you to thank for that

Thank you of all the pain

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

1 posted 2006-05-01 02:24 AM

wow, that was very deep... i've felt that pain and that's intense... that was a very good write i definately dig that piece

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-" Slave of Love" by: Me. (posted in Dark Poetry)

Junebug
Junior Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 40
earth

2 posted 2006-05-01 03:11 AM

dude that rocks! i totally know that feeling.. your poems awesome!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-05-01 02:56 PM

Hey aliway,

Pretty much what everyone else said, I've been there before, it hurts like you're gonna die, all you got to do is just keep taking one step at a time until one day you wake up and you don't feel such intense pain...

Anyway, great job on this, it really expressed lots of emotions, and brought back memories for me.

Keep up the good writes

@-->---

pullingxthextrigger
Member

since 2006-05-01

Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

4 posted 2006-05-01 06:01 PM

The world hates me and that’s
A fact that’s I’ve come to accept
Why ales would my life be so bad
I have you to thank for that

thats very emotional! eek i luv this!!! sooo good!!! definitly goin in my library

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

5 posted 2006-05-01 10:00 PM

Hey.. I loved this poem.. I feel like there was a lot of emotion put in it. and like you I can relate.. with the whole writing the poetry.. If it wasn't for the guys that have hurt me so much then I wouldn't be the writer I am today..

One thing.. spelling and grammar.. they really need work on this.. i'm sort of suprised stargal didn't mention it (no offense stargal

) I think that if I were you I would go back and correct some of your typos and some of the parts that have contractions where they shouldn't be and so on.. If you want me to I can take the time and repost again and show you the places that I'm talking about if you don't see.. just let me know..

This was a very great emotional piece.. I liked it very much..

`Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

6 posted 2006-05-02 01:09 AM

Hey
Thank you every one for posting, all of your words where nice. They really made my day, thank you.

>Heather- thank you for pointing that out to me, I would every much like it if you would point out the mistakes I made. Thank you.

*leah

[This message has been edited by aliway (05-03-2006 01:32 PM).]

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