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sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-03-30 07:51 PM

You think you're so amazing,
because you know just where to hurt me,
but in your soul, there was no beauty,
just a child longing for your escape.

I cannot believe what I am seeing,
this man I once loved,
now on the floor bleeding,
how could I have made you this hurt?

You died in my arms that night,
how could a soul hurt this much?
The pain is just not right,
just tell me you'll make it home safe.

-So ends the story-

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-03-30 11:06 PM

I loved this.. it showed great emotion.. to me anyway.. maybe someone else would see it different. but i understood it and I liked the concept.. keep it up..
hope to hear more like this from you..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

2 posted 2006-04-03 07:51 PM

i love your poetry.
short but always full of emotion.
keep on writing.

--kelly

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-04-03 11:59 PM

full of emotions. nice.

Jessica

curiouse
Member

since 2006-03-21

Posts 277
england

4 posted 2006-04-04 03:48 AM

this is beautifull
envocked with so much passion
it really caught my eye
smiles,
curiouse

Curioustity is a fine gift...

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

5 posted 2006-04-12 10:18 PM

So much emotion, so sad but nice

*Leah

musicalfusion
Junior Member

since 2006-04-12

Posts 14
manchester uk

6 posted 2006-04-13 02:50 PM

your very passionate about this subjest that comes across great to the reader all the words enhance its affect

well done

R.E.M.

dramaticaddict
Junior Member

since 2006-04-13

Posts 10
ny, usa

7 posted 2006-04-13 08:03 PM

WHOA!

that was intense.
good, but intense

awesomeness.
loved.

<3cassie.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

8 posted 2006-04-13 08:35 PM

Like everyone else said, lots of emotions in this.

I thought it was very confusing though, i'm not sure i understand the story within the poem very well.

It also flows funny in a few spots.

Great job though, anyone who can express their emotions to the reader and the reader can feel them deserves a thumbs up

@-->---

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