navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » tell me.....
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic tell me..... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england

0 posted 2006-03-30 07:02 AM



I said I was o.k. I guess I lied because
I can’t take it anymore
And I guess that I’m going to let it all go.
So here it goes…
You said you wanted me,
You said you were going to leave me,
You haven’t done any of that so tell me,
Am I going to get a waking call today?
Because I just want to know why are you being?
Why are being like this
Just tell me if it’s over,
I just want to know the truth,
Tell me if were through,
So I can move on,
Tell me why you’re acting because I know this isn’t you
This isn’t you cause
I know you that you want to let it all out
But you don’t know how to tell me
If were going to be or tell me if your going to leave
Cause to be honest with you I just want to move on
Before it’s too late,
Because I know you don’t care no more,
And I don’t’ have time for people who do not care about me….
…Like you!

Curioustity is a fine gift...

© Copyright 2006 whatever you want it to be - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-03-30 04:20 PM


Hey,

Let me point out a few things…

1) Your poem doesn’t really have much of a rhythm, or maybe I just couldn’t find it? I thought I could have flowed a little bit better, but that’s just me.
2) I also think stanzas would have been nice, just to help the reader keep their place.

Other than that this was a nice poem!
Loved how you said you didn’t need people like that anymore, cause you really don’t…
More power to you!

Keep posting~

@-->---

curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england
2 posted 2006-03-31 01:46 AM


stargal, i'm not the best of poets actually i don';t think i am one at all!i just write down my imagination for you to see..thanx though
curiouse

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » tell me.....

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary