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Teen Poetry #7
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Broken Heart
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Broken Heart |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104
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my soul is full of sorrow doubt and regret trying to remember yet trying to forget he broke my heart in peices left them scattered on the floor hes happy, he has her i'm left broken to the core yet he doesen't know the feelings that i hide the lonliness i'm feeling seems never will subside i took a risk with him i gave him my heart thinking he wouldn't break it but he left me torn apart i will never love again loves not worth the pain my emptiness inside will it ever go away? |
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| © Copyright 2006 Miranda Nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
i really liked this i really can relate.... i thought it was good... liked the flow too i hope to read more from you.. *hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
Now this reminds me of my ex-boyfriend quite a lot. Nice write and like Hunnie said you had a good flow to it. Keep writing. |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104 |
Thank you! |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
I think one of the main reasons I liked this so much is cause this is exactly what I'm going through right now...and you expressed it simply but beautifully. Especially these lines: my soul is full of sorrow doubt and regret trying to remember yet trying to forget And if you are going through this right now, I'm sorry. It's extremely hard to have your heart broken by someone who finds another. Don't worry though, you love someone again. You might not think you will but love always finds a way. Anyways, keep it up. Very emotional, which makes it great. <3Erin |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I loved the first stanza the most.. it just kinda set you up for the rest of the poem.. great job.. it was simple but one of your best.. keep it up.. ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
i loved the first verse my soul is full of sorrow doubt and regret trying to remember yet trying to forget it just spoke to me some how, i loved it so much.. liked the other verses to , just that one is my fav. could you read " through the night" by me, noone has posted what they think, and i really want to know how it is. |
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littlemiss Junior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 16 |
i love this poem you've expressed yourself so clearly my favourite part was... he broke my heart in peices left them scattered on the floor hes happy, he has her i'm left broken to the core i think the last line really hits you and you can understand exactly what it is your going through, it really got to me i could feel your pain, i think you've put yourself and your emotions across very well. kim |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"trying to remember yet trying to forget" Loved that part so much! I think it's because I can relate to it so well... I'm not sure what I think about the overall poem though. There are a few rough spots in it, at least in my opinion. Like some of the stanzas seem to need a little polish to the endings, just little stuff though... I loved how you setup the first stanza, like everyone else said, that would have to be my favorite stanza in the whole poem. It was a brilliant work plus it caught my attention and kept me reading. Great job. I can't wait to see more from you  @-->--- |
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