You aren’t fair at all. - pipTalk Forums

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Leeds-Girl
New Member

since 2005-12-07

Posts 8

0 posted 2005-12-09 07:53 PM

Why do I do it?
I try to give up
But each time I see you
My heart just blows up,

I can’t help myself its you that I need,
But you don’t want me
Ill beg on my knees
I try to pretend that it don’t hurt
I try and tell friends that Your only dirt,

But when I look into those dreamy eyes
You make me feel special
I forget the times I have cried,

But I was the fool to think this was true
I thought I did, but I didn’t know you,
You was just a users a liar a cheat
But why couldn’t I see it before I lost sleep

I cried every night but what could I do
You had me locked like paper on glue
Everything you said I thought it was true
Everything that I did im glad it was with you

So why did you do it
Why break my heart
Was I the fool or the one in your heart?
You only came when you could get one thing
You only came when she wasn’t in
You only called me so what could would think
You said you and your girlfriend were on the blink

But yes it was me the fool that believed you
I believed all your lies, the times that I cried
I sat with my mum and no im not ashamed
I even thought I was to blame,
Was I the fool for letting you do this?
Or was I the fool for not seeing through this.

But there was another so unlike you
He didn’t want to use me, he wasn’t you
Although I would have let him I offered him it all,
But he was the one, who wanted nothing at all,
He was the one that will stick in my head,
The one the only the only lad that’s said
“He didn’t want to sleep with me I was way to young” that’s what he said
He didn’t want me my body was too young,

But still you didn’t stop
And still you couldn’t see
I didn’t like it the fact that you were using me
By this time I knew unlike from the start
Even my mum said you would only break my heart
The phone calls would stop no texts at all
Another girl must have it
You aren’t fair at all.

Leeds-Girl
New Member

since 2005-12-07

Posts 8

1 posted 2005-12-10 04:54 PM

Could people please reply i would really like to know what you think about my work and i would like to get some tips on making things better. thanks x

Jer
Member

since 1999-12-02

Posts 443
USA

2 posted 2005-12-23 01:42 PM

This is very interesting piece of writing. I can feel your pain as it is imbedded in the poem well. One word of advice, proof read your poems. You can lose a reader when an improper word is used. Here is one example.

"You was just a users a liar a cheat"

Try, “You were just a user, a liar, a cheat”

Anyway...In all, good work.

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