Teen Poetry #7 |
Shattered |
infinite disaster Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69Illinois |
I haven't been posting my poems for a while ... and none of my older poems are on here anymore so here are some of them ... Wandering into a room She opens her mouth Nothing but useless words escapes That secretly covers the pain she feels She walk farther down She sees a perfect vase So still, so perfect She reaches for it Knowing something about the truth That ended up to be nothing but lies No longer perfect The vase is now a shattered picec A jagged edge cuts her hand The red liquid drips down her arm Quietly crying but bearing the pain She smears the snow-white walls With her crimson-stained hands Wanting forgiveness All she can do is wait I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn. |
||
© Copyright 2003 Akie - All Rights Reserved | |||
peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
I liked the beginning of this poem but the ending wasn't as great. At least, to me. I'm not trying to be rude or anything...but I feel like ya could work on that a little more. Over all I think ya did a good job! Great work though!! ~Jess "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
||
dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
all i can do is wait.... im not that patient.... |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |