Present, Past, Future/ Here, There, Somewhere

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Teen Poetry #7

Present, Past, Future/ Here, There, Somewhere

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

0 posted 2005-06-29 11:25 PM

So here I am;
standing under a broken umbrella of hope,
as the drops of lonelyness pour down on me.

There I was;
sitting inside a bathtub of worn out lies,
as the suds of happieness slowly disappear.

Somewhere I will be;
jumping on a trampoline of joyfullness,
as the rays of laughter re-inhabit my lips.

love will make you beautiful

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

1 posted 2005-06-29 11:26 PM

this one is really different and I just dont know bout it yet.

love will make you beautiful

spaz02
Member

since 2005-06-28

Posts 74
USA

2 posted 2005-06-29 11:32 PM

i enjoyed this peice....its short but says alot...im not so sure on the last verse though.....good work overall though

shara
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 69
florida/USA

3 posted 2005-06-30 12:02 PM

i am just falling in love with your poems!!! i like how you went from one extreme to the next. the last stanza speaks to where you are going to be and the state you are going to be in, you made yourself come out on top, i liked that. "somewhere i will be jumping on a trampoline of joyfullness as the rays of laughter re-inhabit my lips" i like that verse, it says a lot about who you are as a person, this was a great read, keep up the good work!!!

shara

* shining star*
Member

since 2005-06-29

Posts 76
PA,USA

4 posted 2005-06-30 01:17 PM

I love your poems! I haven't read one that i haven't loved or liked alot. I really like this one, and your choice of words is amazing!

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

5 posted 2005-06-30 06:07 PM

thanks for all of your comments... im hoping to be that last verse real soon...

love will make you beautiful

shara
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 69
florida/USA

6 posted 2005-07-01 03:31 PM

keep trying and you will one day be like the person you described in your last stanza. keep the faith and stay encouraged,

shara

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