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HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

0 posted 2005-05-01 01:15 AM

And I lay here
slowly dying
while blood is pooling
slowly dryingt

Thick with feeling
red with regret
Gently numbing
until I forget

Thoughts fading
into black
broken heart
going slack

One last sigh
and I let go
releasing into
time's endless flow

I wave goodbye
to what was me
feeling lonely
but finally free

I slowly stand
and walk away
smiling softly
as I face the day

________________________________________________

Sorry for not sticking around longer and replying, but it's so late at night that I need sleep.And thus I had to get this idea out of me before it stole my last remaining sanity.Not to mention sleep time!

-Rich

"I am a part of the world that I hate/I wish the end would come faster, my world's a distaster," - Crossfade "Starless"

dodge_chick2003
Member

since 2004-01-18

Posts 136
California

1 posted 2005-05-01 03:29 AM

I could tell that there was a lot of emotion and thought that went into this poem. I realized that as I started to read it I couldn't stop. There needs to be more poems out there like this...

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2005-05-01 10:03 AM

I am taking this to be very metaphorical, and not about suicide. I only get that though, from the last stanza. Please be mindful of the guidelines....

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

3 posted 2005-05-01 10:30 AM

Yes, I know it's got a bit more edge too it than usual, but that was the point. It was supposed to grab hold on the reader and hold them tight. Except the hard fall they expect never comes; rather, they are, more or less, gently let down. And I know, and apolagize, for somewhat stretching the rules, but just this once, I couldn't help myself.

"I am a part of the world that I hate/I wish the end would come faster, my world's a distaster," - Crossfade "Starless"

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2005-05-03 06:31 PM

Hey! How've you been? I can relate to this so well right now (when can't I?). I really love this sooo much, especially the 2nd to last stanza.
Wow.
I love the whole feel of this. It's going in my library.

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

5 posted 2005-05-08 12:00 PM

Hey!! Long time no talk, huh?

This was absolutly amazing(as always). The rhyming didn't seem forced, but just seemed to come naturally to the tone of the poem. Dang your good! :-) Awesome work!

AIM-blueyed angel940
She's a question without answers...

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