Wooden Telescopes and Tarnished Glass

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Teen Poetry #7

Wooden Telescopes and Tarnished Glass

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2005-04-18 04:35 PM

Wooden Telescopes and Tarnished Glass

Look o'er the edge of our vast darkness
into the place where dusk and dawn sleep,
past midnight droplets and streaking tears,
past the salt lined sadness on the cosmic shore.
Orion has not hunted for a millenia,
but now studied faithfully by white coated mice,
the hunter is now the cliched hunter.
To some, he hangs his head in shame.

Our world spins on and on
helping us forget our past steps,
as if footsteps in concrete can be washed away.
Darling, trudge on.
I'll carry your shoes.
We are blind beneath the stars
and nacked before Orion.
But still, it is quite dark;
do you have a light?
(Youth fades out as wisdome sets in)

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

1 posted 2005-04-19 07:48 AM

wow! I really loved this one! Then again, i absolutely love everything you write, you are awesome! I especially liked:
"Darling, trudge on.
I'll carry your shoes."
Just great lines for some reason!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2005-04-19 10:16 AM

i'm glad that you liked it. if you haven't yet, try and find some of my older stuff. i wrote in a more emotional, powerful style then. now i just try to picture something in my mind and use words as a medium of communication of my visions. thanks again for commenting.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

3 posted 2005-04-19 11:55 AM

youth fades...I feel that
To some, he hangs his head in shame.
I Love that line...

I like the title.

Poems of Autumn
Junior Member

since 2005-04-18

Posts 11
highschool

4 posted 2005-04-20 11:46 AM

WOW! Very intense. It made me feel like there was some greater purpose in life then the ones everyone else is leading. I am a new member and your poem was the first one I've read since joining. A soulful insight on ones feelings is the best way to start the day!

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

5 posted 2005-04-20 05:57 PM

thank you both for reading. i appreciate the feedback

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