navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Impious Tears and Lackadaisical Air (Just Breathe Man, Breathe)
Teen Poetry #7
Post A Reply Post New Topic Impious Tears and Lackadaisical Air (Just Breathe Man, Breathe) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-11-16 09:01 PM


Impious Tears and Lackadaisical Air (Just Breathe Man, Breathe)

Midnight cries again…

Underneath the wings of a silent moon
a woman glides along dance floors of pavement.
Her clothing consists of recusant faith,
the type of ideas that frame a pride in life.
She pants from the weight of beauty,
all of her silver and gold has taken its toll.
She bends low as if constantly bowing to some
invisible prince that wanders the streets.

Our woman of soon-sorrow moves her
Dream Catcher from her neck to her head,
a slight halo of superstition surrounds her now,
but she loves the statement it makes.
Her hands move in to swish her skirt,
a motion so popular for the time of year.
Underneath it all, a decayed heart lies
twitching and teasing with signs of life.

She knows the temporal matters as if
life is never to pass or take a side street,
but that smile of hers starts to run as the
paint slides from view into the night.
Her feet continually carry her to
the folly that abounds when the sun rests.
If she only knew that folly was speeding to her,
determined for collision and the end of that dirge.

Stars close their eyes
as the bell in the church tolls.
Amour Propre has drawn yet another
to its chest for one last squeeze.

Midnight cries again…


© Copyright 2004 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved
~DreamChild~
Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544
in your dreams
1 posted 2004-11-16 09:15 PM


now this was quite impressive.
a very worthy read!
Well done.

           ~Express Yourself~
          

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
2 posted 2004-11-16 09:26 PM


very well done i do agree. such imagery and visulization. a lovelt poem indeed.
robin

oh btw i added you to my xanga list. i'm ThePreciousOne21 :0)

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and matt!
"and we'll all float on ok....." - modest mouse
aim - reklesabandnrckr

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
3 posted 2004-11-16 10:05 PM


thank you both for commenting. robin, i wondered who had subscribed.
punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
4 posted 2004-11-17 09:12 AM


that would be me dear. don't worry i won't hit on ya lol

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and matt!
"and we'll all float on ok....." - modest mouse
aim - reklesabandnrckr

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
5 posted 2004-11-17 11:30 AM


::great spill, man...this transports your reader...much enjoyed the metaphors...


great stuff::

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
6 posted 2004-11-17 01:43 PM


hmm, what to say when your speechless?  I know I enjoyed it, and I know it was a brilliant piece.

Smile

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
7 posted 2004-11-17 09:33 PM


you flatter me, thank you.
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
8 posted 2004-11-21 01:37 AM


Alex...just woah! Amazing write!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
9 posted 2004-11-21 11:40 AM


thanks alli.
HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
10 posted 2004-11-21 04:51 PM


I suppose it was rather rude of me to not post any replies to your previous works, good as they were.  I simply find it hard to find flaws  in and sometimes understand work with so much more depth and class than is found within my own.  This is the first one that truly got through to me and planted a seed which blossomed further into understanding.  Glad to finally find a poem from you I can connect with!  May there be many more to follow, because you are one of the best I've ever red from.  

                      With Sincerity,
                       Rich

[center]"I'm burning in the heavens,
and I'm drowning in a hell.
And my soul is in a coma
and none of my friends can tell,"
[i]~Take Me~ Papa Roca

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
11 posted 2004-11-21 07:37 PM


thanks a lot rich. while mine may have more depth, your form is much stronger than mine. thank you for your perseverance in reading my work.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #7 » Impious Tears and Lackadaisical Air (Just Breathe Man, Breathe)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary