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earthdust
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 53
predestined and foreknown

0 posted 2004-11-14 10:41 PM

like the raindrops on your cheek

the sparkle of your eyes i keep

tell me softly of your fears

i'll kiss away your salty tears.

not once bitten,
still twice shy,
fell to my death,
in love did i die

and went to heaven...

" Understanding is more valuable than diamonds. If you can understand me, Then you are a very rich person. "

TY!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2004-11-15 08:25 AM

An interesting read, thank you for sharing

Andrew

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2004-11-15 12:10 PM

i enjoyed the write. interesting style. for some odd reason it catches my fancy. well done.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-11-15 06:16 PM

like this alot...!

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

WranglrButts9
Member

since 2004-10-24

Posts 108
Iowa, US

4 posted 2004-11-15 09:12 PM

This is really good. I liked the first stanza the most. The end is sad :',(

Bailey

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

5 posted 2004-11-15 09:23 PM

This poem is catchy. Not a style I have read often, unique and beautiful. I like how you choose to express yourself!

Smile

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

6 posted 2004-11-16 11:57 AM

"not once bitten,
still twice shy,
fell to my death,
in love did i die"

i loved that part. it left me in aw when i read it. great stuff.
robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and matt!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2004-11-16 12:31 PM

For some reason i thought you were going to go in a completely different direction with the poem, but I liked what you did with it anywayz.

I liked how you wrote it too.

im guessing that last line was for effect, thats why it stands alone. It worked.

well done

"One good thing about music: when it hits you feel no pain"- Bob Marley
~I am Trance~

~DreamChild~
Senior Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 544
in your dreams

8 posted 2004-11-16 11:28 PM

thanks for the great replies everyone!

" Now what do you THINK about that? "

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

9 posted 2004-11-17 12:22 PM

Heh, like this one alot. A new style for me, not one I've seen before. I like your signature too, though if wealth were truly measured by understanding, I'd regretfully be a rather poor soul.

[center]"I'm burning in the heavens,
and I'm drowning in a hell.
And my soul is in a coma
and none of my friends can tell,"
[i]~Take Me~ Papa Roca

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