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Teen Poetry #7
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The Real Me
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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The Real Me |
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WranglrButts9 Member
since 2004-10-24
Posts 108Iowa, US 
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Hello- this is my first ever post on PIP, and I would really appreciate any comments you have. This poem was written because of a guy I like, and then kind of about my dad who is never around. ----------------- Do you know the real me? I don’t think you do I live a secret life Full of both happiness and hate Do you know the real me? I don’t think you do You don’t see the tears that fall every night While I lay here thinking of you Do you know the real me? I don’t think you do I've got a secret life Filled with thoughts of you Do you know the real me? I don’t think you do You only see the happiness That revolves around you Do you know the real me? I don't think you do You never see the hate That revolves around you too Do you know the real me? I don't think you do I live a secret life Full of both happiness and hate. |
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| © Copyright 2004 WranglrButts9 - All Rights Reserved | |||
*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Hey Bailey! I think your poem is awesome. I could really relate to it. I really like this stanza: "Do you know the real me? I don’t think you do You only see the happiness That revolves around you Thanks Nan and Sunshine for helping her join.  And welcome to Pip Bailey.   ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened... |
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WranglrButts9 Member
since 2004-10-24
Posts 108Iowa, US |
Thanks... Alli. I've got one thats specifically about my dad... but I dont really want to post it b.c I'm new. So you'll just have to wait. I know the poem might get a little annoying, because of the Do you know me? I dont think you do thing, but I think its the best I've written in a long time. I wasn't forcing the rhyming, and it just came off the top of my head.I didn't get stuck in the middle of it and wonder how I was gonna finish it. Lol, I prbly didn't write it in the best time tho. I was in Social Studies during a review for our end-of-quarter test. haha! Good judgment comes from experience, |
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red_angel*16 Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 71 |
I love this poem i can really relate to it. especially the part "do you really know me I dont think you do I live a secret life full of both happiness and hate." I hope you dont mind if I share this with my friends!!! ALWAYS CHRISTINE |
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branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
This may be your first posting on this website but it is clear that its not your first write. Great Job. Branden |
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Mick Hawkes Member
since 2000-10-26
Posts 90Tees-side , England |
i really enjoyed this.. i look forward to the one about your dad.. & all the others that im sure are "in" you :-) Never take life too seriously - None of us gets out alive! |
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WranglrButts9 Member
since 2004-10-24
Posts 108Iowa, US |
Wow, guys! Thanks a lot! I've written a couple others in the past 2 days, that I'll post soon. Sadly i still have homework to do for the meanest teacher, so i've gotta get that done first. Thanks again, Bailey P.S. I dont mind if you share it! <3 |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I love this. It was a very awesome first post.... i will be looking for more of ur stuff.... Karissa I ask why, but in my mind, |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
I thougt this poem was very heartfelt and sincere. Not to mention extremely well written for a first post, much better than my own, anyway (I'm sure its still rotting in the archives somewhere)! I though it was a bit repetitive, but it seems to work for this one. Welcome to Passions! Hopefully I'll be able to stick around long enough to keep reading more from you! -Rich Winamp is Playing: "Punk Rock Princess" Something Corporate Leaving Through The Window is knowing where I've been ~Rich~ |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Welcome to Passions! And I enjoyed reading the thoughts in this. As for a failure to see? It's often called selective inattention...we see what we choose to see, and ignore the rest most of the time. Have fun here in the blue.  |
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Fleur Member
since 2004-04-09
Posts 103 |
Do you know the real me? I don’t think you do You don’t see the tears that fall every night While I lay here thinking of you -I can relate so much to this. It's perfect, it's great. It's so true. I don't have anything else to say than, it's a great poem. I like it |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is really good for your first post.... the repetition was the perfect way to do this one and i will be looking out for more of you work..... kepp them comin Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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WranglrButts9 Member
since 2004-10-24
Posts 108Iowa, US |
Thanks again! I really don't know what to say. You are all very helpful in my writing. I plan on posting others tonight provided I get homework done. Lol, gotta have it, gotta hate it. Bailey Good judgment comes from experience, |
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DarkDreamer Junior Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 19nowhere,special |
I can realte to your poem like I can relate to every human with breathing. I really like this poem and I look forward to reading more of your work. peace- kristen ps/welcome to piptalk! |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Hey welcome to pip!! I hope you make a very good home for yourself here...I liked this..very good for a first post and very emotional, lovely writing. The only thing I didn't like was the repetition of the first stanza in the end, I don't think it needed to still have a good solid ending, just my take on it. Once again, well written! ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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