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Teen Poetry #7
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electricxheart
Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2004-09-25 08:34 PM



my tears mean nothing, of course.
just pretty stars rolling across a
mountain of puffy eyes and swollen
lips.

[i’m empty now and the highway’s
calling me back home].

it was never my intention to break
my heart strings apart; poisoned
fingertips roll across the small of
my back and the moment is the kind
of silence that makes you want to roll
your eyes.

[i guess we’re all too good for this].

and please never again should you
believe in your dreams and please
never again fall in love with blue eyes-

and orange skies; broken is what we
live for.

picking up the pieces of what we have
lost; smile and nod your head.

[feeling numb in the rippings of your
heart and the puddles of rain on your
kitchen floor].

your lies are so beautiful, repeat them
one more time so my eyes can realize
exactly what they’re missing.

i could be an accident, but i'm still trying.

© Copyright 2004 Kelly Landis - All Rights Reserved
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
1 posted 2004-10-04 03:39 PM


I can't believe this hasn't gotten replies yet. I love the picture this paints, and the emotions that come across. Very beautiful poem, well written.
Thanks for sharing, this is going in my library.

WinterWren-
Counting stars wishing I was ok,
Crashing down was my biggest mistake.

exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada
2 posted 2004-10-06 12:47 PM


it was never my intention to break
my heart strings apart; poisoned
fingertips roll across the small of
my back and the moment is the kind
of silence that makes you want to roll
your eyes.


this entire poem was amazing and beautifully written..you should get more comments on this and i shall see to it.
amazing.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
3 posted 2004-10-06 09:25 PM


Thank you exhale for bumping this back up again.

electricxheart, your poems are always so beautiful, and if I could pick a favorite part out of this one, I would...but I just loved it all.

You are a very talented poet.  This is going into my library for sure.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
4 posted 2004-10-14 12:29 PM


hey,
this was really cool, i've always wished i could write this style of poetry. i haven't been at PIP in awhile cuz for a bit it was just getting boring to me, but i started reading a lot today and your poem was one of many that caught my eye. it's really an awesome piece, thanks.

bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
5 posted 2004-10-15 09:31 AM


Wow
moonguardian2004
Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64
MA, USA
6 posted 2004-10-25 07:31 PM


Wow, that was an amazing poem. You created wonderful images. I was almost sheading a tear while reading it. Very emotional and well written. That was beautifully written. I hope to read more of your work!

~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
7 posted 2004-10-29 08:49 PM


oh god. you are my new favorite writer in here. wow...I love your style of writing.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
8 posted 2004-10-30 01:03 AM


Whoa!  *blinks*  I guess I'm not the only one who feels that way.  I loved this one... though the writing style was different.  Not one I'm used to, so I can't really critiqe very much.  Can't improve what I'm not experienced in.  Just wanted to say that I connected with the message of this one completely.

                               -Rich

Winamp is Playing:
"23"
Jimmy Eat World
Futures


Part of knowing where I'm going
is knowing where I've been
~Rich~

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
9 posted 2004-11-15 08:34 AM


Wonderful writing

Andrew

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
10 posted 2004-11-16 12:11 PM


[feeling numb in the rippings of your
heart and the puddles of rain on your
kitchen floor].
i really loved that part. what a great poem. thanks for sharing.
robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and matt!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

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