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Teen Poetry #7

Unbreakable Chain

moonguardian2004
Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 64
MA, USA

0 posted 2004-07-25 09:45 PM

From naptime
To playtime

From recess
To class

From imagination
To portraying
As part of a cast

From Dr. Suess
To Shakespeare

From pencil
To pen

From love
To heartbreak
You were my very best friend

When I say "were"
I really mean "are"
If it wasn't for you
I wouldn't have come this far

At times you confuse me
Ok, maybe alot
You are always honest
Never being someone you're not

You make me smile
And sometimes you make me frown
Although in the end
Never will we drown

~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2004-07-25 10:14 PM

Ok i liked the poem. I thought the beginning was great. However, as it got to the word "ok" and flowing down to the end- I felt that you got off the style you were originally intending. It sounded very classy in the beginning, and then towards the end went informal.

Regardless, though, I liked the poem and I liked what you were writing about.

awesome

I left my wallet in El Segundo...
And I gotta get it
I got got to get it!

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member

since 2002-11-10

Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

2 posted 2004-07-26 09:00 PM

Hey Hun
I absolutely loved the poem and im sure that friend is the luckiest person in the world to have someone care that much about them and always gonna provide that crying shoulder whenever it is needed.

Keep it up,
Chris

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2004-08-08 12:25 PM

Meredith! This poem was so cute!
I agree with Dopey_Dope about kinda going off the original style, but regardless, it was so sweet and cute. Loved it.

~Alli~

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughter would make me cry.

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