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Teen Poetry #7
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high hopes
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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high hopes |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
My hopes were high, like some strange unidentifiable flight without wings. But I still flew, and to all it was mysterious, how I held my hands so still in my lap. They shoke, I shoke so hard, on the inside. Because the climate was dropping from over exertion. The fall had been steady, but they claim they didn’t see it coming. And I tell them it’s a shame, cause I came down in enormous flames, It sure was a sight to see, the whole town gathered at they’re doorsteps to watch the show. I’m so sorry you didn’t catch the event. It could have been captivating. Rationalizations penetrate no further then they always have. Just beneath the surface. Deep enough for me to process them and learn to reinact in proper form. You sit in church, fully immerced. I sit, chewing on my thoughts collasping around the concepts that won’t add up. Which start tasting of mud. You are faith strengthened. I am built lower still by this **** , an ugly product of this isolation. So shove it into my wounds, all the salt and disdain in your eyes, feed it through your mouth and make it audiable, tangible. So I can eat your poison and disect the formula, and attempt to comprehend this seeming insanity. My hair falls in my face, a shadow to sheild me from the eyes that might catch sight of the flame. I don’t wish for anyone to burn as I do. This spark, I don’t want them to condemn it, and throw it out with their wetnesses. So here, I hide. Behind this veil, I hang over my eyes. [This message has been edited by Acies (07-19-2004 03:34 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
you are an amazing writer, and I'm saying that with all my admiration this is one of the best I've read in a long while you have such an expressive way of writing keep it up and I do hope to see more Looking forward to read more of your work Thanks for sharing You don't have to say you love me just be close at hand....... |
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Stepharoo Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149Washington, USA |
Hmmm not sure what to say about this one. I sure did get caught up in it while reading, which I think is a good thing. I really like this poem! Keep up the awesome work! |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
Thank you so much...to write is to breathe for me, so if I can do it well, then I live well. I don't even know what I just said...  |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
So shove it into my wounds, all the salt and disdain in your eyes i love that line, it's great. keep up the awesome writing, i really do like your stuff. bergundy "Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man) |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
this was really good. i really enjoyed reading it. this was the first time i actually enjoyed reading poetry in the teen forum. i think that you should replace the whole line with the curse word in it, it's a neat idea, but the curse word just takes away from the poem itself. good work once again, -alex |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked it. I thought it was damn real. Powerful man, just powerful I left my wallet in El Segundo... |
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