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tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2004-06-28 06:30 PM

Perfectly Indescribable

I love everything about you,
There’s not a thing I would change.
These are words of love I can’t hold back,
As the clouds can’t hold back the rain.

Challenging your love,
Would be like challenging the seas;
Taking on a force indescribable,
An impossible task to seek.

No one can replace the strength
in which your arms surround me,
Giving me peace and love,
A secret place for me to flee.

Even the beauty and splendor
Of the night time skies,
Is jealous of the love and light
Shining in your eyes.

Your smile overtakes my mind,
It’s dazzling beauty shines,
Melting my heart with just
Knowing you are mine.

No one can replace you,
Or replace things about you I adore.
All these things make you perfect,
And I couldn’t ask for more.

-Erin
(6/28/04)

Let me know what you think

Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't.

Stepharoo
Member

since 2004-05-04

Posts 149
Washington, USA

1 posted 2004-06-28 11:28 PM

Very Cute! Im not sure what else to say.
Loved it!
keep it up.

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

2 posted 2004-07-01 02:19 AM

"Even the beauty and splendor
Of the night time skies,
Is jealous of the love and light
Shining in your eyes."

That's beautiful....

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

3 posted 2004-07-01 02:51 AM

hmm...
it's very good for a love poem actually, kind of like hallmark-y, but it's still nice. i'm really glad you feel this way, and thanks for sharing it well.

bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

Snickers123
Member

since 2004-05-07

Posts 94
United States-Iowa

4 posted 2005-03-01 08:26 AM

that was beautiful, nice work.

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

5 posted 2005-03-01 07:32 PM

"No one can replace the strength
in which your arms surround me,
Giving me peace and love,
A secret place for me to flee"

wow i enjoyed this very much thanks for sharing! - Laura

WindSong
Member

since 2002-12-23

Posts 313
Long Island, New York

6 posted 2005-03-02 01:47 PM

i liked it much!

thanks for sharing

~kirah

"Stand still awhile and dream of the times when your heart felt full." ~Reina Nash~ R.I.P. 9*6*04 You'll always be remembered, I love you!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

7 posted 2005-03-02 03:46 PM

"No one can replace you,
Or replace things about you I adore.
All these things make you perfect,
And I couldn’t ask for more."

Wonderful, beautiful writing. I really enjoyed the read.

Andrew

moonguardian2004
Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 64
MA, USA

8 posted 2005-03-08 12:45 PM

That was a great write. I really like how you worded it. Beautiful job!

Meredith

~*To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine oh so bright !~

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

9 posted 2005-03-09 02:05 AM

This is very cute---yet almost...yeah, I'll agree with above comments when I say it's Hallmark-y. I don't mean in that in a bad way...but Hallmark always sort of had that untouchable rythm to it. Good job!

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