Teen Poetry #7 |
I owe it All to you |
tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
The summer sun masked By the grayness of the clouds, Sunlight peeking through in Only certain places allowed. I looked up to the sky, Engulfed by it's sudden beauty, Something I would have never saw Had someone not taught me to see. You showed me so much, The beauty of simplicity; How everything can be magical; How awesome nature can be. You taught me to enjoy life, Take it day-by-day, Approach life with a smile And to make your own way. You taught me to love, Love myself and love you; That once you find that one, You taught me how to be true. I’ve found myself now, I found myself in you. I found the missing piece Fitting to make something new. Thanks to you, my love, My life is fairly clear, Because you taught me all this, To me, you are so dear. Where would I be without you? Would I know what I do? I’ve learned so much And I owe it all to you. You taught me about life, And the splendor of things I see, Without you to teach me this, Where would I be? -Erin Let me know what you think and please be honest, tell me what you like and don't like. Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't. |
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© Copyright 2004 Erin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Stepharoo Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149Washington, USA |
Wow, this is so cute! I really dont have much to say, I just love it! haha...Keep it up! |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
So you want me to tell you what I do and don't like? Ok, here it goes... I like the way that you were able to describe things. For example, I really like these lines: "The summer sun masked By the grayness of the clouds" What I didn't like...this is kinda hard to explain, but I kinda felt like you dragged the poem on and on. You repeated the same ideas over and over. Told you it was hard to explain..lol! Anyways, I give the poem a thumbsup Keep Writing! ~Alli~ |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
Thank you *Alli4000*,not that I don't enjoy "good jobs" or "it's so cute" but alittle constructive critisism was what I was looking for. I see what you mean by dragging it out now that I read it from another point of view. Thanks! Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't. |
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