Take The Chance... Don't blow it like me...

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #7

Take The Chance... Don't blow it like me...

Fleur
Member

since 2004-04-09

Posts 103

0 posted 2004-04-20 09:32 AM

(-I would really appreciate if you could write your comments to this "poem". It doesn't sound like a poem, but I would be really happy If you could tell me the mistakes I made. I'm not good at english, so please be nice

)
Take The Chance!

I wonder if you feel the same way as me?
I wish I knew the answer,
Then I would stop asking myself:
”Does he love me?”,

It just annoys me that I didn’t took the chance,
Took the chance and asked you,
This question in my mind all these years,

I didn’t have self-confidence enough to ask you,
If I got the chance now I would ask,
Not make the same mistake once again,
But it’s too late, and I know that too,
It was your last visit this year,

I cry every night about, the love,
I feel for you, but can’t share,
And I wonder if you will come,
Once again next year?

- dedicated to my -*Edu*-

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

1 posted 2004-04-21 05:59 PM

Nice poem. Kinda short and sweet.
One thing though - in the second stanza I think the word take would sound better than took.
Overall...very nice.

~Alli~

Fleur
Member

since 2004-04-09

Posts 103

2 posted 2004-04-22 01:49 PM

Thank you Alli.. Really appreciate this...!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.