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Dark Poetry #4
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'Im okay'
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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'Im okay' |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand 
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When you don't belong You don’t feel right And you are never comfortable And you just want to leave wherever you are It’s like I’m far away from home Far from where i feel safe And no one can take me back Because I have no money for a bus Or I’ve been told never to hitchhike It’s like I’ll be forever lonely Watching from the outside As everyone else throws there life away And knowing I can’t do anything about it Almost like I’m locked up tight In a small space And even though the claustrophobia is on its way I know I can breathe But I physically can't Numb could be a word for it But then I’d have to not feel And that’s all I do Feel the pain and stress of everyone else I want to be able to say I’m okay And even though I do frequently it’s not true And I say it as if saying it out loud will make me actually be okay But then I look in the mirror and all over again it’s like, Who is she? I know I don't have much to complain about But everyone has their pains, their insecurities And for so long I feel like I haven’t had them Haven’t been allowed. Like its okay for everyone else to cry But when it comes down to me I just have to be there to support, not to be supported And now I’m alone again And I know I don’t belong And I can’t do anything about it But next time you ask me how I’m feeling Don’t believe me Cause after all, 'I’m okay' "It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pee in his/her pants - Brandon |
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| © Copyright 2004 L - All Rights Reserved | |||
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
Wow...the emotion in that was so elaborate. I was drawn in by how personal every line read...as if you read my life down to the tee. Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent. |
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spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
"I'm okay" too. at leaste i tell everyone eles that. and crying is a thing that belongs to the normal people so i refuse to cry. i hope things get better for you i know what it is like being an outsider bacause i am one. keep writing "alone yet unafraid to hurt. i go through every day trying to find my way. where is the light. where is my fight. is this how it ends?" |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Niiiice, wow, you know your email, (My fave of ur poems), this is one of mine from you. Hollow. Courts. "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
thanks. this one really made me feel so good when i wrote it. Letting all your feelings out is so emotionally helpful and thats why i write, cuz i don't know how i'd feel all locked up and stuff if i wasnt able to write it all down and not feel embarrassed about it. LOR "It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pee in his/her pants - Brandon |
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PainBaneChaos Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 150The point of no return |
I was surfing and thought this one should be brought back up to the front. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Well, this is another nice cynical poem. But I must point out that your spelling and grammar are less than perfect. It is possible that you are trying to get across a rougher sound by writing a piece that has grammatical issues, but the spelling could be improved. On the other hand, though, if you polish up this style, I think you might have something. This is a rather colloquial style of poetry. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
what were the spelling mistakes? and no the grammar wasnt what i was going for, i just let it all out and when i write like that my grammar tends to go haywire. Glad u liked it LOR say wat you will, say what you mean, but you could never offend cuz your dirty words come out clean |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Yeah, where were the spelling mistakes? Hollow. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
It is okay- you are allowed to feel, to cry, to be. I understand this. I once walked a similar path. Perhaps it is age, perhaps it is the wisdom of sages I've read, but you can, one day, be truly okay. I'm still working on it. Some day I'll be okay too  Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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