Dark Poetry #4 |
Seperation |
green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Here I have a cigarette Its smoking I've been inhaling Disease Remember something good Remember God Her Musical sounds escaping my soul I must slow it down Feel this from earlier I failed the test That block so far away A few colors painted on me Spots of decoration Remember something good Remember God Her Musical sounds escaping my soul I must slow it down When the colors got brighter Some of mine touched you Yours fill holes in mine, while mine fill holes in you Complete, I love But the woman possesed leads to a feast for worms Remember something good Remember God Her Musical sounds escaping my soul I must slow it down Two different lengths Mold, beat, weaved to one Distance and love tears running off my face A fortress of protection for the demons of Hell Screaming Remember something good Remember God Her Musical sounds escaping my soul I must slow it down Can you feel my heart Beatten gold Carismatic love For the love of Christ I lay low, here in sorrow Remember something good Remember God Her Musical sounds escaping my soul I must slow it down Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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© Copyright 2004 Kenneth Craig Rogers - All Rights Reserved | |||
River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
this sounds familiar or something...hmm. *is a little lost* to be honest i think it's a song but it lacks graspable content. like the chorus repeat is... just there. I don't know, I don't want to say it's bad but this time I'm not sure I'd be telling the truth to say I really liked it, you know? n-e ways, I think the concept you were trying to get at is still good - River "Stained by the sun, I can see colors...colors of mercy washing over me." - 3 Minutes From Home |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Truthfully its been a while since I've read this one so I reread it and I think if you think about it in a jazzy state of mind and then mix that with Beethoven's "Fur Elise", think about the feeling of living in my parents house still and my mom, then you think about God and Sara it might make a little more sense. God knows how I feel, but I'm not sure she knows. Seperation. Its like a sad love song. Thank you for your criticizm though. It gives me some new ideas. -GIS Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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