avenge me - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

RaBBiT_K
New Member

since 2004-03-28

Posts 7

0 posted 2004-03-28 09:11 PM

Hey there my good friend-
Remember this isn't the end-
It can't be-
You have to avenge me-

Do you remember how I died-
That bullet running deep in my side-
Dont keep out of sight-
Avenge me, you have to fight-

Remember when we were little-
Come on, this isnt a riddle-
That summer that we made that pact-
To always and forever watch each others' back-

I don't blame you for letting me die-
It couldn't be helped, that's no lie-
But, please, avenge me now-
Anyway, anyhow-

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

1 posted 2004-03-29 03:09 AM

hey this is prty good.
but

Remember when we were little-
Come on, this isnt a riddle-

those l.ines really REALLY let it down. the rhyming was really REALLY forced and it just didint add anything, but took things away from it.

its prty good tho. nice.

i need somebody and always this sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting every time

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

2 posted 2004-03-29 05:50 PM

I agree.
I like the poem though, even though i dont like that whole revenge thing. SOmetimes you just gotta let things go, and move on. Grudges only hurt you and the people around you. It destroys more than it heals.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-03-30 04:16 AM

I know how this feels

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

4 posted 2004-03-30 04:37 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check your e-mail for a special greeting.

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

5 posted 2004-03-30 11:24 PM

Welcome to PIP. A good first post, although i agree with darkness_witch somewhat, some lines were forced, mainly the one she mentioned.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.