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Dark Poetry #4
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Inside The Lines
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Inside The Lines |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
The anguish is dramatic, But too realistic for me to feel, The silence is awkward, But too steep for me to climb, There's nothing left to say, What more can i do? I'm not so extravagant, But at least i colour inside the lines, The words you speak are blurred, And too fuzzy to hear clearly, The sounds are fading past, And too far gone to get a grip on, There's nothing left to do, What more can i say? I'm not so flamboyant, But at least i colour inside the lines, So why do i deserve it? This punishment too harsh, Everything too unfair, Too cruel, Happening too fast, There's nothing left to feel, When everything goes numb, Tomorrow is a whisper, But at least i colour inside the lines, You are telling me a story, To help me through this night, To get me to sleep, But what if i don't wake up, Or don't want to, There's nothing left to think, When your brain suddenly shuts off, I'm listening to your story, Pity i never got to hear the end. At least i always coloured inside the lines. However long the night, the dawn will break. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved | |||
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
There's nothing left to feel, When everything goes numb, Tomorrow is a whisper, But at least i colour inside the lines, You are telling me a story, To help me through this night, To get me to sleep, But what if i don't wake up, Or don't want to, I really liked this one courts WELL DONE *saved* LOR Call no man happy till he is dead. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
woaaah amazing honest loved the same bit as lor, as usual. m a n! that blew me away nice to see sum decent poetry round here agen! btw LOR lovin the signature, too true You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
nice write "So what befalls the flawless? |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
At least you do something right. Kinda motivates me to figure out what it is that I do right. That could take some thought. Anyway nice write GIS [I appreciate your concern, you'll always stink and burn.]-Kurt Cobain |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Thank you for replying guys Soph if you read this i'm sick, can't talk my throats swollen lol..... Hollow, However long the night, the dawn will break. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Awesome! This poem would make an AMAZING song if you put it to the right music!! Very awesome poem!!! I LOVED it! ~Vampire Kisses  I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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click1 Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 152usa |
Wow! good structure, it read well and looked good on the page. The feeling was not lost in the words! I liked this...Thank you! Click |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
best piece I have read by you, I am stunned. Is the coloring inside the lines a good thing, for some reason, I sense a kind of wishing you went outside the lines... maybe I'm wrong this made me feel. I'm saving it. excellently crafted. ~lex There's no reason I'm oversleeping |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
forgot to save... |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Lexy - Thats exactly what i meant when writing this poem i'm glad someone picked it up "Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian |
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