Blood of Sin, Tears of Resignation

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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2004-02-11 11:12 AM

Timeless moon
Weeps.
Tears of saline
for the should have known.

How could it sit up there
full,
round,
and bright.
Not to have seen?

Not to have felt,
the uneasiness.
Or did it just ignore
the signs?

Judas moon,
will your color
be red
on the 'morrow?

Has the last soul
been used?
Will the emptiness
bring about my demise?

I beg the answers.
It is I that needs a new
soul.
It is I that weeps
for the unknown.

It is I that ignores.
It is I
that will stand rigid
as the blood of a moon
drips down upon my head.

[This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (02-12-2004 09:18 AM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2004-02-11 03:00 PM

Judas moon...

implied betrayal by the kiss?

This does ask some questions to clarify the self, lady.

ouch.

and since they have me working my brain a bit these days, I was wondering--

is the "marrow" an intentional play on words?
(say yes and keep it--grin--I like it) It does lend an effective visual to the imagery of a blood moon--that rusty, rough color red that you can also find in bone marrow at times, and of course, it brought to mind "morrow" and changing times beneath an ominous sky.

Also--

"It is I that needs a new
soul."

(instead of "It is I who?))

again, even if it's not intentional I'd keep it, as it layered a meaning of lack of feeling of animation there.

And Susan? Don't mind me--chuckle--I'm just counting brain cells these days--lookin' for survivors, yanno?

Awesome poem.

Heavy, illuminating and ominous indeed.

Love ya much, lady.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2004-02-11 03:50 PM

"Judas moon...

implied betrayal by the kiss?"

Yes...exactly....and no...sort of..lol..read on.

"is the "marrow" an intentional play on words?"

LOL....no..but I do like it.

"and of course, it brought to mind "morrow" and changing times beneath an ominous sky."

That is where I was going.  Remember in the bible what the red moon signifies?

"It is I that needs a new
soul."

(instead of "It is I who?))

Yes...as in without soul...remember the movie "The Seventh Sign?"  There were no more souls and when the next soul is needed and there isn't one...the world ends.

"And Susan? Don't mind me--chuckle--I'm just counting brain cells these days--lookin' for survivors, yanno?"

*grin* I know that...and I wonder at times how many would have survived had I not tried to count....

Karen if you are the only person to respond to this...I will be satisfied.

Love you much to lady!!

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

3 posted 2004-02-11 04:49 PM

oooh, this is nice and dark =) i like this, good job.

- River

rest upon existence. seek life,
and forever never die.

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

4 posted 2004-02-11 10:46 PM

hehe i like the play on words with "marrow"

it adds a little something to the poem! hehehe

and i agree with river. i love it dark and brooding!

this is an extraordinary poem, words can do it no justice! you should be real proud of this one.

keep rockin!!!

darkness

You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson

Vagabond
Member

since 2004-01-23

Posts 163

5 posted 2004-02-12 08:08 AM

i agree with darkness and river.

i belive she mean morrow as tomarrow, us sutherners

Vagabon the Lost One

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

6 posted 2004-02-12 09:17 AM

LOL Yes, it was a typo...

'morrow....

But thank you for reading and letting me know you liked it...I usually don't write like this because I am afraid it won't make sense to anyone but me...

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2004-02-23 03:26 AM

neat write, a different style, but it looks good on you

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

8 posted 2004-02-24 08:36 AM

The way all this works is awesome. It brings me back to the understanding that though human is over all earth. Each is just one and that one usually doesn't mean tremendous amounts to many if only a few but one is still one and each makes decisions based on how it will affect ourselves. Its ok to be imperfect but a sin not to try. Even as I write this I attempt to do my best to speak with wisdom but know beyond doubt that it hasn't been worded right and will likely be taken the wrong way but maybe the important part will come through irregardless.

-GIS

Why live for gold when you can be happy?

[...and the work, it was fun.]-Kurt Cobain

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

9 posted 2004-03-24 02:37 PM

Brilliant

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