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green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

0 posted 2004-02-03 02:32 PM

Flesh smooth soft
Heart wrapped in blood
Young starvation trust
Cut with bittersweet

  Life droplets

      stains of red

Wind and dust
Arid empty shell
      Vivid dark gravity
      Open mouth of Hell

Hatered and lies go hand-in-hand, while love is always truth.

[I do it for the love... ...I do it from the bottom of my heart.]-Smile Empty Soul

Vagabond
Member

since 2004-01-23

Posts 163

1 posted 2004-02-03 03:36 PM

intresting

Vagabon the Lost One

Jelfling
Junior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 21
Indiana

2 posted 2004-02-04 11:29 AM

now this I really liked. I love how you spaced out those few lines, almost like they're dripping themselves. It definitly reads like a vampire poem.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

3 posted 2004-02-05 12:35 PM

aww dont be so hard on the vampires they arent so bad...lol...nice write

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

4 posted 2004-02-05 10:32 AM

thanx guys. its been awhile since I've really written anything. I think I'll get back on it now.

GIS

a trickle of music fromm a well
let it spill and roar like hell

[...see a lot up there but don't be scared. Who needs actions when we got words?]

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

5 posted 2004-02-05 08:55 PM

lol
it was ok
i loved the end tho

i always love the endings of poems so keep writing good ones

Silhouetted by Deception

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

6 posted 2004-02-06 03:41 PM

hey, i liked this...i need to get back to writing too...=) so much school stuff is kinda distracting though...la la la ...anywho, chat .... later.

rest upon existence. seek life,
and forever never die.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

7 posted 2004-02-07 01:19 AM

Thanx guys I've just been kind of depressed lately.

GIS

a trickle of music fromm a well
let it spill and roar like hell

[...see a lot up there but don't be scared. Who needs actions when we got words?]

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