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HeliaHeart
Member

since 2008-11-16

Posts 53
Georgia

0 posted 2008-11-19 06:43 PM

It is quiet, silent

Everyone turned around and walked away,
leaving behind, the silence.

She stood as the moonlight crawled
across a glittering white balcony.

It is quiet, silent

Can you hear the lull ... trembling in the air?

It was always quiet, always silent
around her, in her home.

Her world was dark, hidden.
Shadows cradled lies, secrets.

Remember that night
When silence was shattered... by a scream.

Did you see her sorrow?
Did you hear her wish?
Was she, really, simply...
...Insignificant?

Can you see that fine line... within her mind?

It is quiet, silent
She could not stand it

Could you...would you?
The moonlight still crawled towards her.

Can you feel it… in her voice?

It was always quiet, always silent
in her world.

Maybe too quiet,
too silent for her.

Can you taste it... the chaos she has wrought?

...no longer quiet...
...silent no more...

~Lia
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever"
-M. K. Ghandi

[This message has been edited by HeliaHeart (11-19-2008 07:17 PM).]

Ethan Halo
Senior Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 793
on the roof again

1 posted 2008-11-19 08:22 PM

silence absolutely terrifies me. i hate libraries.
it sounds stupid, i know.
silence makes you feel tiny, alone, and on the brink of danger.
to me, it's just creepy.

but maybe it's that one sound that breaks the silence so cleanly, sharply, and abruptly that is even more terrifying.

and i think you captured that idea.
well done.

The soul is oftentimes a battlefield where reason and judgement wage war on passion and appetite.

The Esoteric Being
Junior Member

since 2008-07-22

Posts 34
MA, USA

2 posted 2008-11-20 07:07 PM

breathtaking.
For me, I loved the slow, romantic pattern that this piece began with. It seemed to quicken as it went on... like building anxiety. And it ended with a wonderfully creepy bang.

bravo!

----------------
The Esoteric Being

what_hope?
New Member

since 2008-12-10

Posts 9
sc

3 posted 2008-12-13 12:57 PM

i love the style nice work

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

4 posted 2008-12-13 01:04 PM

Nice images and tone in this.

pyre
Member

since 2008-05-16

Posts 136

5 posted 2008-12-15 12:00 PM

I like the way it ends. Either breath taking or complete.

-pyre

Does she pray, or am I prey?

prize
Member

since 2008-11-21

Posts 116

6 posted 2008-12-15 05:35 PM

I really enjoyed reading this poem - thank you. It really draws the reader in and the feelings are intense.

P

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

7 posted 2008-12-17 08:36 AM

The repitition and flow sets the mood perfectly.

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