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Pantheress
Member

since 2008-11-02

Posts 215
Queensland, Australia

0 posted 2008-11-16 08:56 PM

I bled sincerely upon your cold unanswered doorstep.
A soft reminder of the knife you kept so clean.
Revoking memories that your soul destroyed with silence.
The words long gone now, but the tears can still be seen.
A touch and a glance.
A thought and a kiss.
You sold me your lifetime,
for a moment of bliss.
I rode your wild horses,
too broken to run.
As you hiked up your clouds
and tasted my sun.
The moment grew dirty
and you picked up your knife.
As you dusted your porcelain
And fled for your life.
Yet you still choke on fragments
of those feelings you hated
Now you're drowning:
In the puddle that your own tears created.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2008-11-18 10:30 AM

I LOVE this!

and?

good grief you are pretty!!

axi
Junior Member

since 2008-11-16

Posts 43
NewYork

2 posted 2008-11-18 10:33 AM

blown away....great structure and great choice of words...love it

Pantheress
Member

since 2008-11-02

Posts 215
Queensland, Australia

3 posted 2008-11-19 01:13 AM

Thanks axi.. A bit different, and hidden away,smiles.. Thanks for calling in and thank you for your time today, I'm glad you like my poem..
Hi SEA.. you found her down here in the back galley,smiles.. If you look behind closed doors you'll find- Waste Land. I'm so glad this didn't offend,smiles.. I was dreading repercussions.. Now I'm gonna read whats been written today, otherwise I may miss something beautiful, shinning and new,grins.. Thanks SEA, for all of your giving.. I wish you could catch it and give it to all of the living..
Pretty? Chuckles.. Haven't been described as pretty since nursery school,lol.. So with that wonderful glowing thought in my heart, I'm going to depart,smiles..

HeliaHeart
Member

since 2008-11-16

Posts 53
Georgia

4 posted 2008-11-19 07:27 PM

Beautiful, the word choice is very effective. I love it!

~Lia
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever"
-M. K. Ghandi

Pantheress
Member

since 2008-11-02

Posts 215
Queensland, Australia

5 posted 2008-11-20 12:55 PM

Thanks HeliaHeart, its great you enjoyed my poem, I love how everyone here supports others with their poems,smiles.. its so wonderful you took the time to reply to mine, thank you..

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2008-11-21 06:38 AM

interesting slice of life ms..enjoyed it

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

7 posted 2008-11-21 05:10 PM

Nice poem. I am inspired.

I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality.

Pantheress
Member

since 2008-11-02

Posts 215
Queensland, Australia

8 posted 2008-11-24 09:08 AM

Thanks Dark Stranger and Xeonox for enjoying my poem, its great,smiles..

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

9 posted 2008-11-25 07:01 PM

Your talent is nothing to compare. You write beautifully in this poem. lol I envy your writing.. lol :P

-Zach

I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP

Inspired-8
Member

since 2008-04-14

Posts 311
Pluto

10 posted 2008-11-26 01:31 AM

"Yet you still choke on fragments
of those feelings you hated
Now you're drowning:
In the puddle that your own tears created."

Brilliant my friend much enjoyed.

vic

Pantheress
Member

since 2008-11-02

Posts 215
Queensland, Australia

11 posted 2008-11-26 05:47 AM

Thanks so much Vic and Zach, I'm glad you enjoyed my poem, I love all the support and encouragement I receive here, its wonderful,smiles..

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