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Dark Poetry #4

So I Brought Her Aboard

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2008-07-16 09:09 PM

I have just about had it with that woman
and her blubbering about a meaningless universe.
No, the beauty on the beach is among the
most boring women I've ever met,
depending always on the world around her to
provide her with purpose, never looking inside.

So that's exactly why
I took to grabbing her hand
and bringing her with me
the third night when the ship
came alongside the beach

I'd tell you what she said but I think you already know
since I've given her thoughts on everything high and low
previously in poems just like this one

Mystress May
Member

since 2007-10-25

Posts 296
Taunton, MA

1 posted 2008-07-17 06:34 PM

Hey doll....

Well, when reading this I get the desire to grab this woman by the arms and shake her.... force her to see. I think it wouldn't matter what she said, to me..... because I get the feeling that whatever it was, it wouldn't be enough for you, so no matter how you relayed it, it wouldn't come across as enough for me, as a reader.

I enjoy your style...

~~~Amanda~~~

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

2 posted 2008-07-17 07:00 PM

I like this. It's very descriptive of a deficiency of character that is all too common. Great job.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`·

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

3 posted 2008-08-28 12:25 PM

Hey...can I stroke your poem? I've been accused of wanting hugs and strokes for good poetry in here. Is that so wrong? LOL!

Sorry, that isn't quite the way to put it, but I did enjoy reading this.

"...buried way beneath the sheets
I think she's having a meltdown..."
"Buckcherry"

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

4 posted 2008-08-29 09:09 AM

Thanks to you, fractal, I'm now hooked on Lovecraft. Not sure yet if that's a blessing or a curse. Anyway, another fine write from your very versatile pen. Enjoyed!

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