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Dark Poetry #4

My first poem!

Newpoet
Member

since 2008-05-16

Posts 72

0 posted 2008-05-16 05:15 AM

Hi, this is my first poem. I'm not sure if I'm actually finished it, but this is what I've written so far:

The thunderous blows upon the flesh,
The darkness seeks the minds of mortal men,
In the shadows hides the soul,
In the light carries the soul,

For if one is impervious to pain,
Then, he holds a shield of lies,
The wicked abyss, confines the weak,
The strength of heart is true bliss,

A hero has accomplished a triumphant life,
Beyond the glory,
Beyond the pain,
Perseverance makes a champion of us all.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2008-05-16 07:44 AM

Wow your style of writing is very interesting.. its sounds pretty good.. and like the last stanza was my favorite.. Great write for your first poem!! Keep up the writing

~Zach~

"Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant."

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 422
Canada

2 posted 2008-05-16 08:28 PM

You most deffinatly have potential. This had a meaning one hasn't trouble finding. it brings out something in you that makes you feel free. Great job and keep it up!

~*Julianna*~

Claira
Member

since 2008-05-11

Posts 102
British but living in Thailand

3 posted 2008-05-16 11:01 PM

I love your imagery, this is great for your first poem. Keep it up, I look forward to reading more.

Claira

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