Dark Poetry #4 |
In The Neon Lights. |
Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I wonder if, sometimes It would be a little easier In the neon lights, Shining down upon you all Watching your heads fall. I know it’s hard, because The tears just won’t release You will never make it, As a waterfall, will you? Just accept that the truth is true. I wonder if, sometimes People would care a little more If I walked away, I hoped you’d visit my grave But I can’t expect a miracle. I know it’s hard, because I can see you rocking in your chair You thought you’d never see the day, Left behind, alone Well, I must have found my way home. I wonder if, sometimes You feel the same Shaking on the ground, I’m not strong enough to rescue you I wasn’t strong enough to rescue myself. I know it’s hard, because I was walking in your shoes I’m just so sorry, But I’m watching you now I’m the angel you would have been for me, If you had wondered, Sometimes. You just got to see me through another day |
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© Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved | |||
darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
I wonder if, sometimes You feel the same Shaking on the ground, I’m not strong enough to rescue you I wasn’t strong enough to rescue myself. aw dude. umm no idea wat to see cept it rocks so hard one of my def faves of yours... kinda hurt to read love and empathy sophie nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
hehe i saw this one as a cowboy story... dont ask me why! hah good write, i enjoyed a lot. but didnt u end a recent poem with sometimes? im not sure. oh well LOR you're the only one keeping me alive |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
I’m the angel you would have been for me, If you had wondered, Sometimes. I like the way you worded this---sort of obviously vague! :-) |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
Hey, this was good, i liked it a lot. It's not as striking as most of your other ones, def. not your best, but i still liked it anyway. i don't think you're capable of bad writing. lol. lots of love, Kurst xxx Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it. |
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Ladycat
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
This piece is beautifully worded. I love the feeling behind it. Thank you very much for such a great piece to read. Love, Ladycat Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.-Friedrich Nietzsche |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
this is full of a sense of remembering and its so real. the way its told sounds quiet and loud all at once. |
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