The Last Words (actually, a song)

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Dark Poetry #4

The Last Words (actually, a song)

A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

0 posted 2008-03-16 06:40 AM

The cold sky above me is crying
To meet my last day, one more story is over.
A wrist, razorblade - now I hope I'm becoming
The pain in your heart. In your mind, never sober
You'll see just a guise of me, bleeding so badly.
I'm dying in pain - that is what I have chosen.
And if you had been there, you still could have saved me.
You could... it's too late. Now I'm lying here, frozen.

A denizen in all the world, a denial,
My f------ damned life has been nothing but battles.
This easy escape is the last of my trials,
And with my last breath your dark sky will be shattered.
My death is revenge if my life has been broken.
It's been a mistake - it's my debt to erase it.
I have no more reason to live - I'm forgotten.
My sorrow has come to the tragical ending.

Your life will go on in your cardboard castle;
You'll finish your part, and you'll join me in years.
My poisonous blood all your questions will answer.
Goodbye... I've got over the last of my fears.

(My death is revenge if my life has been broken.
It's been a mistake - it's my debt to erase it.
I have no more reason to live - I'm forgotten.
My sorrow has come to the tragical ending.)

And if you had been there, you still could have saved me.
You could...

I have the recording here: http://www.geocities.com/soulofabeautifuldisaster/Songwriters_Corner.htm

shattered-smiles
Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 247
inside the shadows

1 posted 2008-03-16 09:35 AM

Good good good good, I love it! I love everything about it except the swearing. You really don't need to say those words. It doesn't make your poem any greater than it would be. For me, if people swear in their poems, it makes the poem seem less appealing. Great write though.

TJ

No One Knew She Bled To Feel; To Remind Herself That She Was Real

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

2 posted 2008-03-17 07:13 PM

I absolutely loved it..going in library..great job

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