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the night i died
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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the night i died |
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wisdomofthesword Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224the last place on earth |
It needs a lot of work but wanted to shear this one. it started with a scream a shout in the street this is my life pounding the beat alone I run what is the story just a bunch of boys after a thugs glory more shouts and screams echo the alley my duty is to lead these boys to the gallery the fight goes on only minutes have passed this time I'm out numbered the odds ten on one then comes the bang and a blazing flash of light here comes my judgment will I die this night feel the searing lead tearing flesh from bone and now I lie bleeding, heart fading, I'm dieing alone I lie there in the street this alley of my demise no one to help at the hands of those i despise at first they are stunned it's just another street brawl to me this is life my life walking the streets am I to die at only ***** one lets out a cry there more of them coming, I hear the sirens now lift my head and mumble do you know why then with out a second thought the cowards turn and run the only thing beside me is that b****ards gun then conciseness leaves me I awake in a room of white machines beeping and buzzing around me blood pressure, morphine, heart rate then a nurse begins to shriek oh my god he's awake. |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
yeah i'll admit it needs some work but either than that, it's good. The last stanza ecspecially. Good job, {~~*~~} {&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand] |
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wisdomofthesword Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224the last place on earth |
thanks something thats stupid but works isn't stupid |
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