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Dark Poetry #4
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hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

0 posted 2008-02-23 04:56 PM


my body lim
as I lye there
on the soon to be
soaked ground

i stare up at the sky
feeling bare
then
the rain starts to come
not that i even have
power to care

Mud rinses
through my hair

my clothes are soaked
with water so ice cold
but i dont move
not even shiver
even though i hate the cold

if you would see me
my body would appear
but my mind is far off
with out a care

as i think of you
i loved you with a passion
then i think of her
and my passions turn to hate

life is bad
but seeing you with her
makes it that much worse
and gets harder each day

© Copyright 2008 JJ - All Rights Reserved
midnightdreamer
Member
since 2008-02-03
Posts 309
Roy,ut
1 posted 2008-02-23 07:33 PM


great poem!!!


midnightdreamer

black beautiful eyes looking back at me telling me, no fear will show.

Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
2 posted 2008-02-24 07:40 AM


i know how you feel... i've been there done that.. and i know your probably thinking "oh you did this to a girl once" but the fact is that i never did....she did it to me with my best friends.... i know the feeling oh too well.

oh sorry telling you my problems insted of commentin your poem. this is really good. keep it up.

~Zach~  



shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
3 posted 2008-02-25 09:23 AM


great poem
TJ

SheSmilesWithAllSheHasLeft.YetHerTearsAreLeftUndried.AndThoughShe'sGotSoMuchToSay.SheBottlesItUpInside

r v wooo
Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656

4 posted 2008-02-25 12:21 PM


sometimes life's greatests pleasures are gained from the pain of our early experiences. stick around, its going to get better...be happy!
hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
5 posted 2008-02-29 12:21 PM


thanks guys, glad you liked it...


eternally_singing
Member
since 2007-12-18
Posts 123
PA, United States
6 posted 2008-03-01 12:58 PM


Great poem! I was able to relate to the feeling expressed. Very well done.
hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
7 posted 2008-03-19 12:05 PM


thank you

JJ

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