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hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

0 posted 2008-02-23 04:56 PM

my body lim
as I lye there
on the soon to be
soaked ground

i stare up at the sky
feeling bare
then
the rain starts to come
not that i even have
power to care

Mud rinses
through my hair

my clothes are soaked
with water so ice cold
but i dont move
not even shiver
even though i hate the cold

if you would see me
my body would appear
but my mind is far off
with out a care

as i think of you
i loved you with a passion
then i think of her
and my passions turn to hate

life is bad
but seeing you with her
makes it that much worse
and gets harder each day

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

1 posted 2008-02-23 07:33 PM

great poem!!!

midnightdreamer

black beautiful eyes looking back at me telling me, no fear will show.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2008-02-24 07:40 AM

i know how you feel... i've been there done that.. and i know your probably thinking "oh you did this to a girl once" but the fact is that i never did....she did it to me with my best friends.... i know the feeling oh too well.

oh sorry telling you my problems insted of commentin your poem. this is really good. keep it up.

~Zach~

shattered-smiles
Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 247
inside the shadows

3 posted 2008-02-25 09:23 AM

great poem
TJ

SheSmilesWithAllSheHasLeft.YetHerTearsAreLeftUndried.AndThoughShe'sGotSoMuchToSay.SheBottlesItUpInside

r v wooo
Senior Member

since 2007-08-07

Posts 656

4 posted 2008-02-25 12:21 PM

sometimes life's greatests pleasures are gained from the pain of our early experiences. stick around, its going to get better...be happy!

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

5 posted 2008-02-29 12:21 PM

thanks guys, glad you liked it...

eternally_singing
Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 123
PA, United States

6 posted 2008-03-01 12:58 PM

Great poem! I was able to relate to the feeling expressed. Very well done.

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

7 posted 2008-03-19 12:05 PM

thank you

JJ

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