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Dark Poetry #4
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FAR ABOVE THE CLOUDS
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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FAR ABOVE THE CLOUDS |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Drifting endlessly Far above the clouds Wisps of smoke drift from houses So many lives So many souls We take for granted that we are not the only ones I think we forget others exist As our world pushes closer to death Living Working Bringing up our children Always hoping they will grow into something good Blood sweat and tears A life well lived As old age grows like moss around your limbs The house you must sell When your partner in life crosses over Things you must sell To make room for the small place you now find yourself in A box A hard life A lost love It comes to this for many Ending your days In a room chatting to yourself For none rarely come to visit Surrounded by your memories Tokens of love Pictures on holiday Random things picked along the way You know Sitting in your small home now You know They will throw away that which they cannot sell A few pictures kept A thing here or there that sparks memory Maybe Maybe not Far above the clouds it really doesn’t matter They are just history repeating itself Waiting to happen They shall become that which they pity We all do No matter how you bring your children up Greed takes control A select few break the mould Not everyone is the same Until money comes into play Friends become enemies Lover’s turn to hate Family lay shattered on the Earth Everything you spent your life building breaks With death comes death of all things Comes boxes in the garbage Filled with holiday pictures and things collected along the way Items unable to sell Pointless artifacts from an old woman and her husband Memories never told Memories best forgotten Now that those who cared for them have gone Far above the clouds |
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| © Copyright 2007 Christopher Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
Holy........Seeker72 you nailed that over the fence...so many memories of my own parents deaths..oh that lump in my throat, you've done it again. Thanks. moon. p.s. On another note all together..I saw this awesome animation on You Tube a few days ago and was thinking you might enjoy them, anyway here are the links. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4wqWoTL5Fk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr35VBPaIcY |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Thanks MD your opinion means a lot. Thanks for the links as well, Reflection was damn good I watched it several times. |
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FlipPhone New Member
since 2007-10-11
Posts 4NY, NY |
I think you're making an assumption to the sensations one would get when they hear the words "floating above the clouds" Yes, it is a magical thing to be high above everything you can feel small and insignificant or you can feel free and on top of the world. In this poem I don't think you have sufficiently delineated the connection between those powerful feelings and the escapism of the cloud experience. Not to say that your content is insignificant, but to say your content warrants a stronger vehicle. -www.pinemartin.blogspot.com |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
"I think you're making an assumption to the sensations one would get when they hear the words "floating above the clouds" Actually no I wasn't. Far above the clouds was leaning more towards someone dying and crossing over, we relate death and going to Heaven as "Going up" to me it would be "Far above the clouds" once you are gone every thing good, bad or indifferent no longer matter. The poem wasn't about flying or the thrills of such an experience. It was about the Evils of humanity and how a person can change once money is bought into the equation, it was about how a person can build an Empire no matter how small and have it crumble with nothing more than their death. Still thank you for reading it. |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
I think I killed the Internet.... ;-) |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
Congratulations, now I'm really impressed!! |
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carolinabeen Member
since 2006-12-12
Posts 69 |
So this is what I am supposed to NOT say ? Do what you must, keep it in what you believe and when it hurts you know you;re either on the wrong part or getting closer. Thanks for the picture draw some more PLEASE. |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
Seeker, are we to be treated to how you "I think I killed the Internet...." or shall it forever remain privileged information? moon. |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
I could tell you... but then I would have to kill you too. ;-) |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
Promise? |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Well... I'm not a Politician so I can't really promise but you have my word... honest. |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
So now what...if you kill me I won't care, and if I don't care (to find out) you won't kill me...sounds like a Checkmate situation to me Seeker. moon. |
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