a poem about my military past

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comoloco7
Junior Member

since 2007-09-21

Posts 31
MA

0 posted 2007-09-21 12:44 PM

Red

In red I paint the shattered soul of youth betrayed,
In red I paint the memories that should have stayed,
Alone and cold I wish the pain would go away,
as darkness falls, entraps my mind, and clouds my way.

Its red I see as death engulfs my every thought,
Its red the blood that i have shed the day I fought,
And lost myself in endless battle, but i got caught,
And I got slayed, I got dead, I heard a shot.

And red the dreams that I once had in times of hope,
But all is lost i cannot see, i can’t go on.
I lost my love, it bled my heart and bled my soul
Its red the silence when I find myself alone.

And red the tears that leave my eyes in endless sorrow,
That paint a face with no expression sad and hollow,
And red the ink that leaves my pen this very day,
And red the thoughts that slowly… drive me insane.

jossal
Junior Member

since 2007-09-15

Posts 23

1 posted 2007-09-21 02:41 PM

Nice, i liked it. Red driving you isane...

Rick
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia

2 posted 2007-09-21 07:22 PM

Hi comoloco7, what can I say, the piece expresses deep feelings and emotion, sadness and broken love, I could feel it all, felt grateful not to have been in that position and I do hope the red memories and ink disappear as you share and release what bites at your core. We all have demons, but the mind can over come deversity with help and time.
A good write that kept me thinking, thanks for sharing.

Rick

comoloco7
Junior Member

since 2007-09-21

Posts 31
MA

3 posted 2007-09-21 08:56 PM

Thanks very much for your encouragement; I’m glad that my words and feelings reached as far as they did. This piece was written about 4-5 years ago, it reflects a time of great pain and confusion. I am happy that you appreciate it like you do. I do have two more versions of it, more like continuations; I will post them soon.

In the blood soaked battle field, lay the bones of countless millions who in the midst of battle stopped to rest, and resting they died.

Seeker72
Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 387
Oregon USA

4 posted 2007-09-23 12:34 PM

Very good.

Much like your Sig.

A story told without telling.

comoloco7
Junior Member

since 2007-09-21

Posts 31
MA

5 posted 2007-09-28 09:05 AM

thank you all for your replies. help keep this thread going, keep up the good work.

In the blood soaked battle field, bleach the bones of countless millions who in the midst of victory stopped to rest, and resting they died.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2007-10-03 10:27 PM

Those who go through any war
of any kind
often see red of
many flavors/favors/sight,
even sound

You've displayed this with depth
emotion, and some insight.

Welcome to Passions.

Please, check your email for
a Very Special Greeting.

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

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