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Dark Poetry #4
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| Dark Poetry #4 |
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alone |
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littlefairy Member
since 2007-08-06
Posts 51New York |
I give up tonight, My darling love, Your not going to appear again, I recognize that, Even as I ache, I notice how I made a mistake, One that’s changed both our lives, Even if it really wasn’t’ all that bad, I had asked you to understand, Where I was coming from, Because no one else ever does, And you did, But you told me you were done, That you were too old for all this, You ignored that you would’ve done the same, That everyone else, Would be just like me, No matter the age difference, Or the gap between our worlds, Although that’s always easier to forget, To not look at, It’s better to believe your better than me, That your more mature than me, You are, But in this you were wrong, And so you left, At least you left me my heart, Completely destroyed, Instead of like the last guy, Who only made it rip and tear where you could sew it up, Now I’ll never love again, No one will ever enter inside of me, You closed all my doors up tight, On your way out, So here I am behind them, Knee’s up to my chest, Staring off at my walls, Knowing that’ll I’ll never be ok, That no one will ever enter them again, And I’m so young, I’m so very young and I’ll be alone, For the rest of my life. I’m good during the day. But at night I wait.I wait for the one who’ll never return. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Tara - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Yoinn Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649Michigan |
Lots of raw emotion in this one fairy and you used them to create your images. Good job. one critque tho...in line "Even as I ache, I notice how I made a mistake" this isn't a rhyming poem and that rhyme sort of threw me...perhaps changing it would help....cool poem Yoin |
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littlefairy Member
since 2007-08-06
Posts 51New York |
Aw thank you and yea when i was writing the poem i was trying to avoid that. I've been attempting to figure somthing out that'll make it work much better. I think i've got one so thanks.  |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I like this. mostly because of the emotion in it. Just remeber you are never alone. Even in your darkest times there is always someone there, you just need to let them... Krysti ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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